More Ado About Umbrellas

So I had a mini-rant about umbrellas yesterday, which prompted Carly to leave this comment:

Okay, so here is my umbrella anxiety… You get out of the car and are carrying your umbrella because it isn’t raining, but feels like it is going to start any second. Then, as you are walking, it starts the faintest of light drizzle, and you think, I would look like an idiot if I use my umbrella for this, so you continue walking, carrying the unopened umbrella. Then there is an ever so slight steady increase in the rain, and you are thinking, “Should I open my umbrella now? If I had gotten out of my car and this was the rain level, I most likely would have opened my umbrella, but this is not so heavy as to clearly need a shield, and I was walking in rain almost as heavy as this without the need of coverage….” It’s the umbrella threshold. It gets blurred… Or maybe it’s just me.

I'm posting it here only because I do the exact same thing. Seriously- I follow the same thought process and everything. So it's not just you! This is very similar to my standard umbrella issue, which is that I carry it, but just plain never use it. In college, I would leave the house with it, but it would be totally in the gray area for rain. It never rained hard enough to validate the trouble of using the umbrella, and yet when I got to class I would be wet enough that I wished I had opened it up. I never learned- the next time I would do the exact same thing, knowing full well that I was going to regret it later.

In other news, you have to try this little internet game. My high score is 236,660.

Update: 637,900. Boo-yah!

One Day, Three Annoyances

These three things happened in succession on Sunday, and only one was actually annoying. From least to most irritating:

1. I used up the soap in my shower, so I needed a new bar. I could've sworn I had just bought a huge pack, but I looked everywhere and couldn't find it. So when I was out I went to BJ's and bought a gigantor pack of like 20 bars. After restocking the bathroom I thought "I'll store the rest of this under the sink in the guest bathroom." Anybody want to guess what was already there? That's right, the last huge pack of soap. I hate being dumb.

2. It was doing a little snow/sleet/winter-mix thing, so it was a little wet on and off. At the grocery store there was lady in her power suit loading a ton of bags into her car. It was taking her a while, because she was only using one hand, the other being tied up with her huge umbrella. If she wasn't so focused on the task at hand, she might have noticed that it had stopped raining like 10 minutes ago. I used to always notice this effect on rainy days in college- several people would walk around with their umbrella open when it hadn't been raining for an hour. In any case, no, this didn't affect me at all- I just don't understand people.

3. Now, this did suck: After working out I hit Subway for my new standard Sunday lunch, and I walked in right after another lady. At this point there were 4 people in the Subway: Me, the lady, and 2 employees behind the sneeze guard. She orders a sub. Then another, and by this time I've noticed that she was reading off a list. The employees continue to work in series, like they always do- one starting the bread and meat, and the other doing the toppings. The lady has to keep consulting her list, because they're all special orders. I finally peek over her shoulder, and she has a full-on matrix of what all her (I'm assuming) co-workers want- 12 in all! The orders keep coming, tying up both employees, and at several points they would get confused and have to stop and count sandwiches, sometimes unwrap a few to see what they have. Don't even get me started with the toasting- apparently there wasn't a box for that on the form so it was a big question every time. "Is it usually toasted? Would you toast it? What do most people like?" Kill me!

It's not like I was in a hurry, but remember: I walked up seconds after this lady, and there was no one else in there. I wanted one 12" turkey and ham sub. It takes them approximately 45 seconds to crank one of those out. If the lady was a little more polite, maybe she would have offered to let me go first. It's not like she didn't see me. Not to mention that she tied up the entire staff for 15 minutes! Of course, I can't totally absolve the employees. Why couldn't one of them have helped me while the other kept helping Mrs. Big Spender? I was near the point of banging my head on the old New York-themed walls when she turns around and says with a smile "I'm so sorry, this is the last one!" to which I smile and reply "Oh, that's okay! Don't worry about it!" I was actually thinking "If you were truly sorry, maybe you would've spared an employee for 45 seconds and not sucked a quarter hour out of my life A$$HOLE!"

And you know what else? She finally paid and walked away, forgetting her 14-odd cookies. I grabbed them and ran after her to hand them over. If I didn't get like a million karma points, then there is just no justice in the world.

Free Wheelin' at the Auto Show

Saturday I took a trip up to DC for the Washington Auto Show with a couple of friends. I'm really not that much of a car guy, but let's face it, I had little else going on. Plus, the closest thing I'd ever seen to a car show were those times they would park a bunch of new cars in the mall. I always enjoyed filling out the little raffle ticket and dropping it in the window for a chance to take home my own Geo Metro, but it never really payed off.

The show was pretty impressive- I took up the entire basement of the convention center, not to mention the larger space on the second story. There were cars as far as the eye could see, and there were even a few that I could afford. The vast majority were ridiculously nice, ridiculously expensive rides that we would gather around and have exchanges like this:

Mike: "Aw man- they only upped it 2 cubic inches from last year, but they pulled out 4.5 more horsepower!"
Jason: "Yeah, that buys them 5.2 foot-pounds, but it still throws off the weight ratio."
Me: "You can't see crap out of these tiny windows."

Then they would sort of shakes their heads in disappointment. My observations were limited to things like "Why is there even a back seat? There's no room for your legs." and "My suitcase wouldn't fit in this trunk." I was also openly mocked for showing much more interest in the hybrids than any of the other cars.

We were looking at some Mercedes or something, when they said things like "I've had my eye on this series for a while. We'll probably get one to tool around in when we retire." I replied "That car costs $85,000. Plus, it gets 9 miles per gallon. What's the point?" Apparently I "don't get it."

I was excited to see some of the concepts, like the Ford Airstream and Interceptor. I realize most of them will never see production, but it's neat to see what ideas designers are coming up with. Jason remarked that the Airstream should be called "The Ikea," and Mike liked the retro clamshell shaker hood on the Interceptor. I pointed out that neither one had a rear defroster.

Throw in the fact that we stopped at Coldstone on the way home, and it was a pretty fun day. Would I go again? Probably. Will Mike and Jason invite me again? Doubtful.

Transform and Rock Out!

In the ongoing attempt to blend the old with new, Takara has introduced the Optimus Prime iPod dock. I can't say I'm surprised, what with all the Operation Pens and that Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots commercial that they show 80 times per football game. Seriously- I couldn't bring myself to watch the commercial when I added the link, because I'm so sick of it. In any case, nostalgia is in!

The fun part of this is that yesterday two of my friends e-mailed me links to this thing within 15 minutes. It could be that I'm easy to read and easy to please, or maybe my friends just really know me.

So, I have to weigh in on this guy. First of all, that is the exact same mold they used for my Optimus Prime that I got back in 1985. I guess if it ain't broke, don't fix it. However, by going with the white iPod color scheme, he looks much more like Ultra Magnus- and I can't be the only dork who noticed. What were they thinking?

In conclusion, I would pay maybe $50 for this, but not $144. I going to go out on a limb and say they probably didn't focus on sound quality.

This is also as good a time as any to show the greatest t-shirt that I've seen in a while.

And the Envelope Please...

So the Oscar nominations are out. Do I have and opinion? Not really. Why, you ask? Well, because out of all the nominees in every category, I have seen 3: The Departed, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, and Superman Returns. I know, I know. This is a disgrace for someone who considers themself to be a movie buff.

I really liked The Departed, and I would give it my vote for best picture, even though I'm not really qualified (having not seen the others). I will say that I find it odd that Marky Mark was nominated for best supporting actor when he was in approximately 3 minutes of the movie- that's like Sean Connery being nominated for Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. It wasn't a terribly important part, and he wasn't even that good. Of course, I can't compare with the other nominees because I haven't seen them either. I have the same problem with the Art Direction.

The only category that I can make an informed decision on is Visual Effects, and I'm going Pirates all the way.

Oh wait, I've seen Cars, too. The animated category is pretty thin this year.

On a side note, Leo was nominated for Blood Diamond. I never saw the film, but in the previews his fake accent was so bad I couldn't really tell what he was trying to sound like. Sort of like JFK, where we learned that Kevin Costner can't do a Louisiana accent and cry at the same time. He drawls through the whole movie, then when he mists up, the accent is gone entirely. Am I the only one who noticed? Or X-Men, when Halle Berry had an abysmal accent, and then by X-Men 2 it was like it never happened! Okay, enough ranting.

SUPERBOWL!

I don't even know what to say. I would never say that I gave up on this season, it just all felt little too familiar. The Colts were winning games, but they looked way too shaky at times. They lost to the Titans and the Texans. I won't even get in to the run defense. And then, when the playoffs started it was like someone flipped a switch and the intensity was back.

All things considered, that was one of the best football games I've ever seen. When we were down 21-3 late in the first half, I was beside myself, thinking "It's like they don't want to win." The stinking Patriots. They're like Colts kryptonite. Plus, Reche "Headlights" Caldwell's eyes were freaking me out a little bit. But, I knew that coach Dungy makes great halftime adjustments, so I stuck it out.

The second half was amazing! I was on the edge of my seat. It was great to see the Colts not panic, and slowly chip away at the deficit. I won't do a play-by-play, but I will say that I love Dallas Clark. Also, I had a mini-heart attack when Reggie Wayne bobbled that pass in the 4th quarter.

In short, I am beside myself with joy that the Colts are in the big game. I might almost consider going to the game if tickets weren't $3000.

I'm happy that Peyton Manning finally made it, but I love Tony Dungy. I've read several interviews with him, and I think he's a generally good guy and although he is often criticized for his calm demeanor, I like that about him. I could never stand the whole "motivation by humiliation," screaming, scary coach thing. Now, I do appreciate the fact that we're going to have not one, but two black coaches in the superbowl. Get ready to hear about that constantly for the next two weeks. But I'm more excited that you have two coaches in the superbowl that are decent human beings, who understand that this is a game, being played by professional adults, not life and death. Here's a good column to that effect. That said, I really really really want to win.

So now I need to decide what to do for the game itself. I assumed that I would just watch it here with friends, but then Jim prompted that this could be a once in a lifetime thing, and maybe I should try to make it more special. I thought about going to the game itself, because how cool would it be to actually go to a Superbowl? Of course, since crappy tickets will set you back about 3000 junior bacon cheeseburgers, I wrote that off pretty quickly. So now I'm toying with the idea of going to Indy for the weekend. I figure Carly and I could find a good place with some other fans to watch the game, and it would be a lot cheaper. Of course, either way I'm going to wear my Harrison jersey, because I can't switch while they're winning. I know that what I'm wearing has no effect on a football game a thousand miles away, but still.

And if Reggie Miller is wrong, I don't want to know what right is. Go Colts!

Last Night on the Phone

Marc: I'm so lame. I have absolutely nothing to do on Friday night.
Carly: Tell me about it- my big night was a trip to Target.
Marc: I have to go to Target too, but I was saving that so I'd have something to do tomorrow.

That about sums it up.

Why Do They Lie?

Why do they say "Stay tuned for more Scrubs!" when they know darn well that there is no more Scrubs? Then I have to fast forward through the last commercial break, confirm that there is no more Scrubs, then delete the episode. Same with the Office. They used to at least give you some scenes from next week, but now it's a blatant lie. But I can't just give up and delete it without checking, because sometimes there is more Earl.

Pause for De-icing

Well, I saw snow again, and ironically, it was also in Dallas. As I said earlier, it was freezing there, but by Wednesday morning there was a layer of snow on the ground and a Munn-like sheet of ice on the roads. It's always hard to judge how bad snow really is in Texas (or Maryland) compared to the midwest, because in Michiana the plows are out as soon as the fist flake hits the ground. In Ft. Worth, I don't think either of their plows even made it to the highway. My contacts there did confirm that the only times they've had snow in the past year, I was there. Lucky me!

The trip from the hotel to the airport usually takes around 35-40 minutes, but it was pushing 2.5 hours with traffic crawling along at around 15 mph. I didn't see any accidents, but as I crested one of the many hills I saw a pickup truck doing a very ice-capade like series of spins in the middle of the highway. I realize that the dude had probably never driven in the snow before, but I watched the display with a sort of detached amusement- it reminded me of watching certain people I could name play video games: I'm not sure what he was trying to do, but that clearly wasn't it. Luckily, no one else was around and he finally came to rest on the shoulder, and he was driving away by the time I crawled past.

On the way I met Jamie at IHOP- I was only 30 minutes late, because I left a solid 20 minutes earlier than I thought I needed to. They were really pushing this all-you-can-eat pancakes deal, and since it was the same price as the regular pancakes, I went for it. Halfway through the first stack I realized the genius of their plan: who can eat more than 5 IHOP pancakes? They are huge and rich. Of course, it's not really a scam if it doesn't cost any more, so what's their deal? Probably just trying to get me in the door.

In any case, when I finally made it to the airport, the snow was coming down. The flight boards read "cancelled cancelled cancelled delayed cancelled cancelled cancelled delayed etc." My original flight was cancelled, so they routed me through Raleigh, NC. Of course, my flight left the gate late, and then we had to wait for de-icing for over 2 hours. I was asleep for most of it, but the pilot kept announcing the new delays to wake me up. And then, there was that guy in the back of the plane. You know, the pilot would say "Well folks, we're 7th in line for de-icing, and it takes about 45 minutes per plane, so it will be a little while yet." Instantly, this guy is on his cell phone, talking extremely loudly (clearly for the whole plane's benefit) "Well jeez! Now he's saying we're 7th in line, and it's taking them 45 minutes per plane! I know! Well, I was supposed to be there at 5! Now, who knows? I don't know what's taking so long!" etc, etc. Of course, with every announcement this cycle repeated except the numbers were updated and I got a little closer to punching him in the face.

I probably don't need to tell you that by the time I made it to Raliegh my connecting flight to DC was looong gone. The only remaining flight that day to DC was scheduled to leave at 8:00, but get this: It was coming from Austin, where the weather was even worse than Dallas. So, I got to kill 4 hours in the Raleigh airport until the plane rolled in. Now, I was supposed to fly right back out to New Jersey, but after calling our travel people, I learned that there were no fights that I had a prayer of making that night. The little angel on my one shoulder said "Marc, you can get a hotel in DC tonight, then catch the early flight out tomorrow and still make half the meeting" (which was scheduled for 8:00 until 12:30). Then the devil on my other shoulder said "Are you serious? Screw it." and I did. I made all the calls and canceled the reservations (I had spare time) and I finally got to my car at Reagan at around 10:30, and I was home in bed by midnight.

And then this morning, it snowed in Maryland. There- snow here finally. Whippee!

Am I a Rookie?

I'm blogging from Ft. Worth, Texas today, where it is freakin' freezing. I went back to Michigan and Indiana for the holidays, and did not see a flake of snow. When I returned home to Maryland, it was 70 degrees. It was 65 when I took off in DC yesterday, and when I stepped off the plane at DFW it was...20. This is the coldest I've been since I don't know when, and I'm in Texas! Come to think of it, the last snow I saw was here in early December. It's just wacky.

My point is that I was reading the American Airlines magazine on the plane yesterday, and it was their annual "Road Warrior" issue, where they profile people who travel a lot. As a quick sidebar, I had no idea that you could read American Way online until I googled it just now. People barely want to read it on the plane- who would seek it out on the web? If you have internet access you should be able to find a better way to kill time.

So anyway, they profile the top 5 road warriors. The winner took 50 trips this year, for a total of 228 days on the road. Yeah, okay, she wins. But the next guy listed "20 to 30" for 115. First of all, if you're such a pro, how do you not know how many trips you've taken? At this point I'll mention that except for 2006, I've averaged 26 trips a year for at least 100 days on the road, and that's not counting personal travel, so I've got this dude beat. The others were 31-322, 22-100 (amateur), and fifth place was 12 trips for 65 days! Are you kidding me? I could do that on one program! Obviously, my next question is "how do I sign up?" because they win some pretty good prizes.

The thing I was planning to write about was the How to Spot a Rookie Traveler feature. Travelers submitted the common (and annoying) things that inexperienced travelers do in the airport, like not knowing what group is boarding or not having their ID ready. But, I took exception to a few. Like:

Those who travel with black luggage, the same color as 90 percent of all the other people’s on the flight. I have black bags, because luggage comes in two colors: black and gay. I can, however, tell which bags are mine from other clues.

Doesn’t spring for the GPS system in his rental car. Why would I do that? I travel so much that I already know where I'm going. Of course, that could be because I always go to the same three places.

The lack of a BlackBerry/PDA phone. Oh- I hate these people. The ones who are so important that they have to check their e-mail every 3 minutes. These are the same ones talk on their $500 smart phone until the stewardess tells them they have to stop and the first ones to start yakking when we land an hour later.

Still call them stewardesses. Bite me.

I did really agree with some, like "Wears high-heeled shoes." No fake- who does that! That still irritates me every time.

Tomorrow I'm off to New Jersey, them I should be home Friday. Hopefully it's a little warmer there.

It's the Thought that Counts

Since I can't run on my treadmill right now, Carly is letting me borrow her Nordic Track. And, since it's way too big to take on a plane, we had to ship it here from Indiana.

Now, it's pretty typical for the delivery person to sort of "hide" the package under my welcome mat, so I was not altogether surprised when I saw this on my porch today:


I figure that it has to be a joke. On a side note, Mom and I made that box out of the box that the new attic ladder came in, which was a totally different shape. I gotta say, I'm impressed with us. Now all I have to do is figure out where to put it.

Heartbreak, thy name is Firefly

I never watched Firefly when it was on TV (I wasn't alone) and I knew nothing about it. But, Daniel got season 1 for Christmas, and I was hooked after the pilot. This show is great! While Daniel was in town we watched the first 5 or so episodes, and after he left I had to go buy it for myself.

I'm not really sure why this show never caught on. I know that these days if a show doesn't have and audience within the first 3 or 4 episodes it gets yanked, but what's not to like? Maybe people just had a problem with the premise- the whole "Cowboys in Space" thing. I think that the premise is usually the least important part of a show. It had great characters, decent plots, and most importantly, witty dialouge. I was hooked.

What made it different was that it had nine main characters, several running story lines that develop over an entire season, even a mysterious character that you learn a little more about every episode. Does that sound familiar? Like, every show on TV right now? I think it was ahead of it's time.

But here's the hard part- right from the start, I knew there were only 14 episodes. Ever. With every episode I loved it more, but I knew I was getting closer to the end- like falling in love in a nursing home or having Nick Saban come in to rescue your football team. I guess that's the deal with the movie Serenity. The show was killed off so prematurely that they never got to fully answer all the questions, so to appease all of the saddened fans they made a real movie to wrap it all up.

As a side note, I think this is the closest thing I've ever had to a legitimate crush on a fictional character. The character Kaylee (played by Jewel Staite) is an adorable, smart, funny spacecraft mechanic. I think she has officially replaced Kim Possible as my fictional ideal woman. I actually had this conversation once with my co-worker Dana:

Dana: "What is it that you like about Kim Possible?"
Marc: "I don't know...she's smart, athletic, has a great sense of humor..."
Dana: "..."
Marc: "Let's talk about something else."

In any case, I wish Firefly would come back, but in the end, I think it's better this way. Like with Arrested Developement: I'm glad they got to go out on a high note. If you haven't seen the show, give it a shot.

EAT THAT, DOMERS!

9 in a row!
There you have it. Notre Dame is just not that good! Do you realize that not only have they lost nine straight bowl games, but since Charlie Weis has taken over they have yet to beat a top 20 team? And somehow, they keep making it to BCS bowls where they get destroyed and I giggle like a schoolgirl.

I only watched the first half, but Notre Dame football was summed up in about the first 5 minutes. Now, Jeff Samardzija is good, but he's also sort of a dick. He constantly taunts and over celebrates, but it never gets called because, well, he plays for Notre Dame. Right at the beginning, he caught a pass and was tackled, and he jumps up, throws the ball at the defender and clearly says something explicit. Of course, he gets a flag and acts all incredulous. My favorite part is that the announcers say "The frustration must be getting to them, that's very out of character for Samardzija." What? Have you ever watched Notre Dame? He does that all the time!

Within the next minute, CB Ndukwe blasted an LSU receiver with a obviously late hit and got a flag, making two flagrant personal fouls in about a minute of play.

My favorite moment was late in the second quarter. Samardzija went deep, and Quinn threw to him even though he was completely covered. Samardzjia takes his eyes off the ball, gives the defender a shove (which was total offensive pass interference), then the football hits him in the head. He immediately starts bitching to the ref, looking for a pass interference call, when it should have been called on him!

In summary, I hate Notre Dame and am LSU's biggest fan for a day.

Holiday Catch-up #2

Christmas day was great, as always. Most importantly, I think people liked the gifts I bought them, which seems like the important thing as an adult. I won't list what I got, but I am now a member of the iPod nation. I will not walk around with it all the time. For that matter, I got a bluetooth headset, and will not be wearing that all the time. If you see me wearing a headset when I'm clearly not talking nor planning to talk to anyone anytime soon, punch me in the face. Actually, do that for anyone.

The next day we made our annual pilgrimage to Mt. Pleasant to make a donation to the Saginaw Chippewa tribe. Soaring Eagle has made the switch to being a cashless casino, which is total bullcrap. Now when you cash out of a slot machine, instead of dumping grubby quarters into your bucket, it prints a little barcode ticket that you stick in the next machine. It still makes the noise- the speakers play a little *plink-plink-plink* sound as it prints your ticket. Daniel pointed out that even when it's only giving you 50 cents, it still plays several plink sounds- which makes you think "Don't patronize me!" It's much cleaner this way, but you almost long for that nasty black buildup on your fingers by the end of the day. Plus, without handling the coins it all goes much faster. I lost money faster than ever before- I dropped a Hamilton in one slot and was out of money in about 45 seconds! The day was almost a total bust until Daniel made his last move. On his last $1.50, made the maximum bet on a $0.50 slot, and won $100. Jerk.
We drove to Elkhart on the 29th, and nothing interesting happened until New Year's Eve (unless you count Purdue absolutely rolling over and dying against Maryland. I'm going to hear about that when I get home). We continued our new tradition of bowling in the New Year, and it was a blast. I was on fire for the first game- I rolled a 137, which may be my highest score ever (unconfirmed). I had 2 strikes, and 3 spares in a row. Woo-hoo! My second game was allright, and then it was all downhill from there. I outright stunk the rest of the night, but it was a good time.
So today I'm watching football. After opening up bowl season 0-3, the Big 10 has won 2 today, and if Michigan gets their act together in the second half they could end up at 0.500. Fun fact! By blowing the Insight Bowl, Minnesota was on the wrong end of biggest comeback in bowl history. Who lost the prior biggest bowl comeback? That's right, Purdue! I was in attendance as for the 2000 Outback bowl as Purdue blew a 25-0 lead to lose to Georgia 25-28. I guess that's a good record to not hold.

Holiday Catch-up #1

I realized last night that I haven't posted anything in several days, so here's a quick recap of the highlights:

After spending several days with my Dad's family in Lansing, I drove down to Anderson, IN to spend Christmas Eve Eve with Daniel's family (Carly was already there). The main goal of the day was to make gingerbread houses, by which I mean graham cracker houses. Now, Carly and Daniel have done this before, so their houses did not collapse at any point during construction. Me personally, I wildly overestimated the aerosol frosting's properties as an adhesive, and had one major redo to deal with. Unfortunately, Daniel's mom and brothers weren't left with much to show for their work other than a pile of delicious frosting coated graham. In any case, here are the results.

Carly's house.

Daniel's house. Notice the excellent smoke billowing out of the chimney.

Finally, my house. In case it doesn't look familiar to anyone, here's my actual house.

I built it from memory, and I dare, nay, defy anyone to throw together graham crackers, frosting, and mini M&M's and have it look more like the genuine article. Next year I'm thinking Frank Lloyd Wright.

Christmas Eve I headed back to Lansing, where we had our traditional dinner at my aunt Karen's house. What was new this year was that Dad, Jeanie and I went to midnight mass with Karen. I'm used to the Methodist midnight services that start at 11:00 pm, and are precisely timed to end right at midnight. This particular service started at midnight, and ran right through about 1:30. Since the Christmas proceedings started at 8:30, I only got about 5 hours of sleep.

To Be Continued!