On Notice

Now, I have never seen the Colbert Report, and I make no claims to it's quality. I do know, however, that he has an "On Notice" board for things that generally displease him. If he puts them on the board and they don't shape up, they get moved to the "Dead to Me" board. You can see the current lists here.

Anyway, here's a great little site where you can construct your own "On Notice" board, as I have done above. Just to make sure I wasn't directing people to a porn site or anything, I checked out the main page and it looks like a bunch of really dorky stuff. I mean, I only got a handful of the jokes. Still, the dude seems pretty talented.

Visits Galore IV

Saturday
Saturday was pleasantly low-key. Our main objective was to get some furniture for the deck, since all I had out there were some el-cheapo plastic molded chairs that came with the house. There are two problems with these: First, they were obviously used when the house was painted, because they are covered in white paint splotches. Second, they must biodegrade in the sun or something, because they are always covered in a dirty black powder. I basically have to clean them off everytime I use them, which means that I don't use them very much.
At any rate, we started with the local Lowe's, but it would seem that we're at the end of patio furniture season because all they really had was one model. I liked the one that was there, but we wanted options, so we trekked all over, even up to Waldorf, to discover that no one had anything. Long story short, we looked around all day and ended up buying the first one we saw. This is the table and these are the chairs. We are now go for deck parties! I think I do want to get some sort of lounger to go with them at some point to read/play DS in.
So of course we sat out on the deck for a while. I usually say that moving to Maryland has made me a wuss about the cold without gaining any heat tolerance, but I was fine outside while the Michiganders were "sweating like dogs" as Karen put it. Apparently I am comfortable outside in the mid-90s. Who knew? I still hate to run in the heat, though.

Sunday
The only thing on the agenda for Sunday was dinner. Karen masterminded the kitchen while I "helped" and we made chicken with a lemon-parmesan sauce (and other stuff like corn and garlic bread). The amazing thing was that she made it look so easy. It's enough to make me think that maybe I should try this cooking thing on my own some time. I think the most complicated cooking that I regularly take on is either mac n' cheese or those Lean Cuisines where you're supposed to microwave it for like 5 minutes at half power, stir it, then zap it for like 3 more minutes at full power. God forbid it's one of those where you're supposed to remove the film over one portion of the tray but leave it intact elsewhere. I think I do what pretty much everyone actually does and just pick a nice intermediate time and power level and let it go. If it's cold, then nuke it some more!

Back to Sunday, the main event for me was making my Grandma's lemon meringue pie. I was surprised at how easy it went together, so I may attempt it again on my own later. Maybe even bring it to a gathering, but I don't want to go too crazy.

We wrapped up Sunday with a couple of movies. Like I said before, we had been wanting to watch National Treasure ever since we saw the archives- many people will tell you that I am "that guy" that likes to announce "Hey, I've been there!" while watching a movie. Actually, one of the pictures on IMDb says that they rotunda scene was shot at a sound stage in LA, but I watched the "making of" feature on the DVD and they make several references to filming on-location and at the archives in particular. And if that was a set, it was huge and very accurate.
Anyway, I had only seen the movie once previously, but I think it totally held up fo a second viewing. There were several little plotholes, most of which fall under suspension of belief. For instance, yeah, all the 200-year old stuff probably wouldn't work, and yeah, the DoI would probably just crumble if you took it out of the case- those I can get over. It's a movie. But there is one thing that actually bothers me. When the good guys are stealing the declaration their plot hinges on first getting it sent to the preservation room, then getting in sneakily to take it. The bad guys are just busting in to take it, but they're breaking into the preservation room, when they shouldn't have known it was there. Maybe they were on their way somewhere else. I don't know. Flaws and all it's a really fun movie and I definitely recommend it if you haven't seen it.

When that was done we turned off the DVD player and Pirates of the Caribbean was on TV. We watched it up until the first commercial break, then decided we should just watch the DVD. This also is a really fun movie, but something bothered me . If they killed "Bootstrap" Bill Turner by strapping him to a canon and throwing him overboard, only later to find out they were cursed and couldn't die, why do they think he's dead? Hmm.

So that's last weekend, and this coming weekend I'll be heading up to Connecticut to visit Daniel and Carly. I'm sure that will involve lots of hijinks, so look for an update next week.

Visits Galore III

The visits continued when my Dad and aunt Karen came down for the weekend, and as always it was great to see them. We ended up going into DC on Friday, which is always fun, and then staying a little more local for Saturday and Sunday. So without further ado, here's a quick recap:

Friday
We spent the day in Washington DC, and since I was just there with Daniel and Tim, we decided to see some different exhibits, including some that I'd never been to. We started off with the National Archives. It's amazing that I've been through DC as many times as I have without ever going here before, but then again my friend Shelley lived her whole childhood 30 minutes from the mall and has never seen a monument. In any case, I figured their exhibits would be the heavy hitters like the Declaration of Independence and not much else, and boy was I wrong. Of course, we started with the permanent display where you can view the Declaration and the Constitution. The rotunda looks just like it does in the movies, only much dimmer, for the obvious reasons. Plus, the Declaration is really, really faded. I mean, you can barely make out the words. It's not like the reproductions that you usually see. This page has a pretty accurate picture, and explains a little bit about it. The surprising part about the archives is that there is a lot more to it- there's a very well done, interactive museum to see. It has multimedia exhibits with things like historical news clips, tapes of official presidential conversations (I understand some of Nixon's are missing), and all kinds of other random stuff. In short, if you're like me and keep skipping the National Archives because it looks boring, give it a shot next time you're close. Plus, it gave us an odd desire to watch National Treasure again (which is, of course, sold in the gift shop).

Next we went to the National Museum of the American Indian. Like the Archives, I have been near it many times but never checked it out. It's not like Air & Space- apparently the exhibits were designed by the individual tribes themselves, so while there is a central theme to each room, there is a pretty wide variety. Some displays were recreations of habitats with various artifacts, some were interactive multimedia displays, but all were well done (funded). There were also large displays of weapons and treasure, which were cool. They even made a reference to when Cortez kidnapped Montezuma, took the ransom gold and killed Montezuma anyway, which lead to the cursed gold in Pirates of the Caribbean. The exhibits were good, but I was really impressed with the building itself. I guess it was designed to look like the stratified stone of the plains, and I think it does. The inside is equally impressive.

Finally we hit the National Museum of American History. I have been to this one before, but it was about 14 years ago and I didn't remember much. I think that's because they change stuff around a lot, but I would see the occasional exhibit and have a brief flashback or two. Since they're closing the museum for a major 2-year remodel next week, many exhibits were already closed off. My favorite part of what was open was "America at War." This exhibit covered everything from the revolutionary war all through enduring freedom, and was very well done. There were lots of historical items from each war, and they were all presented in the period environment- i.e. one of George Washington's uniforms was in a colonial-era village, and later a video montage of Vietnam was shown on a wall of 1960's TVs. To watch it, they even had you sit on lime-green couches covered in clear plastic. Dad and Karen said it really took them back. Now, anyone who knows me understands that I am not political in the least, but the Vietnam exhibit made the similarities to our current war eerily apparent. On a lighter note there was a Jim Henson exhibit that included the original Muppets. I got my picture taken with the Swedish Chef!

After that we saw the WWII memorial, then hit Anna Maria's (a nice Italian place) for dinner and headed home, and pretty much went to bed when we got there. Since this is getting pretty wordy (and I haven't posted anything in over a week) I'll recap the rest later.

Poor Man's Operation

I'll start by saying that I finally saw The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Friday night, and I really enjoyed it. Now, this my have been due to lowered expectations. I am a huge fan of the books, and they seemed like they would be very hard to translate into movie format (if you have any doubts, check out the 1981 BBC version. It was terrible. But anyway, the new version definitely skips around, glosses over much of the book, and has a very hollywood ending but in general it was enjoyable.

Saturday I did a lot of stuff. I started out with a 13.1 mile run (it was supposed to be 13, but I figured "let's just make it a half marathon") that I finished in 1:53. It was hard, but I did it. From there I went to the Woodbury's to work on their deck (which I do pretty much every weekend, and several weeknights) and it's almost done. We had to knock off early, so I came home a mowed my dead grass pile of a lawn. Seriously- it's 90% brown, but the parts that aren't dead grow all big so you still have to mow. What a pain.

I was going to go see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 at 4:00 with some friends, so I toasted a bagel to eat first. This requires a little explanation. The only toaster I have right now is the one my grandma gave me in college which is unique in that the toast doesn't pop back out the top, it kind of shoots out the bottom. Daniel and I found this to be amazing back in our apartment, until we realized that instead of trapping all the crums internally, it sort of blasts them out all over the counter with your toast. Hence, my counters here are covered in crumbs. So anyway I put my bagel in it, got out the peanut butter and waited. When it was done, my bagel didn't drop out. I examined the problem. The short explanation is that there are side supports and bottom supports. The bottom ones are closed and the sides open when it's off. When you push the lever, the sides close then the bottom opens. When it's done, the sides let go, presto, and then the bottom closes again. So, I pushed the lever back down to open the bottom. I didn't want my bagel to get burned, and I couldn't reach it with my fingers, so quick grabbed my peanut butter knife and started pushing it out when I realized that I was STABBING A METAL KNIFE INTO AN OPERATING TOASTER. That's right. I'm an engineer for Navy aircraft. Luckily I stopped and unplugged it before I got some nice 110 running through me.

Pirates 2 was good. It wasn't the best plot in the world, but it was serviceable. It was however pretty much constant entertainment. The action sequences were plenty and well-done. I think that was my favorite part- the whole movie was well thought out and polished. It looks like they're going for a Back to the Future or Matrix type trilogy: the first movie was stand-alone, but 2 and 3 are basically one long movie. Hopefully unlike the Matrix they won't completely drop the ball with the 3rd movie. Anyway, I sincerely enjoyed Pirates and was waiting to talk about how great it was with my companions, and the first thing one of them said when the lights came on was "Well, that sucked." So I could be wrong.

I had high hopes or today productivity-wise. I really needed to clean up a little in anticipation of my family visiting next week. Here's the thing about me: I'm neat, but not clean. I hate clutter and have to put everything in it's place, but I never sweep or clean the bathroom. So today was the day, plus I needed to fix a faucet in the guest bathroom that's been leaking for weeks (I did turn off the water, so I just couldn't use it). To make a very long story short, I did get some cleaning done but it took 3 trips to Lowe's to fix the faucet. Remember, Lowe's is about a half-hour round-trip. Now I think I'm going to waste the rest of the evening.

Small but Mighty

Is it me, or is #19 here getting tackled by a midget?

It's gotta be the angle or something, but that WV player totally looks like a kid getting a piggy-back ride. The really crazy thing is that his legs look normal size. Maybe it's just me, but the longer I look at this the weirder it seems.

3 Flights in 3 Days

So I'm back in the LP a day early. To recap, Monday I flew from DC to Chicago, Tuesday I had a day of meetings then flew from Chi-town to New York (in to LaGuardia, or as I just now decided to call it "LaGuardisaster"), then today I had a half-day meeting in New York, which got out early enough to catch a flight back to DC. I do a lot of traveling, but that was kind of a first. I mentioned earlier that no one in DC ever checked me for gels, liquids, or the newly added "lotions," and the same held true for Chicago O'Hare. Oddly enough, that was also the fastest I've ever made it through their security as well. I think it's because not as many people are traveling. Anyway, I breezed through the shuttle terminal security at LaGuardisaster, only to be stopped by a security detachment right at the gate. They gave my bag a very thorough searching, but the only thing that interested them was my DS Lite. I hoped it was because they were impressed with my sweet Japanese import case, but it was probably more because of the 27 year old man with a Gameboy. I didn't feel too violated because all my toiletries were in my checked baggage. All in all, it was way less embarrassing than the time in DC that they splayed the contents of my backpack all over a table for all passerbys to study. In the first version of this blog I listed some of the humorous items, but then I remembered that people read this. Let's just say they were embarassing.

Interesting side note: On my way back through Washington National I saw an Army guy in his uniform getting the full luggage splayed, pat-down security treatment. My first reaction was that it seemed ridiculous, but then I realized that impersonating a member of the military would be a brilliant terrorist method. I have to think he was selected at random by a computer, because what TSA person would have the guts to make that call?

In other news, I have recently discovered the band Bloodhound Gang. Of course I know they've been around forever, and I listened to them briefly when The Bad Touch was all over the radio (Mope is still their finest work). Kate recently introduced me to the songs Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss and You're Pretty when I'm Drunk, both of which feature witty double entendres that belie the shallow frat-boy subject matter. So, Bloodhound Gang, welcome to the hall of music that Marc discovered 5 years after everyone else. Nine Inch Nails and Beck welcome you. You can go to their site for a charming history of the band. Notice that they have toured with A-Teens. Hmm...on the A-Teens website it says that they have a greatest hits CD coming out for Christmas- this may seem like a perfect present for me, but rest assured, I already have all of their other albums.

In a final note, former Indiana Pacer Ron Artest gives terrible advice.

I'm a little warm, too.

Check it out. Doesn't this lady look like she's trying to re-create The Scream? The picture is from a CNN article on our current heat wave.

I tried to make this layout a little prettier, but blogger just wont let me.

Visits Galore II - Saturday

The plan was to pick Tim up from Dulles airport at 9:00 Saturday morning. He was technically done at 8:00, but since Dulles is hell and gone from here, I figured 9:00 was the best we could do. Daniel and I got there about 15 minutes late, which was pretty good since we left a solid half-hour later than we planned. I drive to Dulles and back all the time by myself for business, so what's the first thing I do when we get back on the road? Why, miss my turn and get us lost in Arlington, of course! That's the first time I've gotten lost on the way back from Dulles, and luckily I had two guys there to witness it. Actually, that's not true- a few years ago I was completely stuck on the beltway and was about to wet myself (this is when I learned that you always go to the bathroom before leaving the airport, no matter what) so I had to get off at the nearest exit and got totally lost. I don't count that though- those were extenuating circumstances. Thank you, GPS!

Anyway, we found our way back to the beltway and drove to the Huntington metro stop, which only gets about a 6 in convenience, but an enticing 5 in shady-ness. Since this is where I was leaving my car for the weekend, it was worth the extra bit of driving to not get my car stripped. Not that there's a real high demand for 2004 LX Accords. From there it was a quick jaunt on the metro to the hotel. We stayed at the Hilton Garden Inn Downtown, which was pretty nice. I've stayed in nicer places (not when I was paying, but when the bill was on Uncle Sam) but apparently this was much better than the places Daniel's employers have put him up in, because he had nothing but nice things to say. It was across the street from the McPherson Square metro stop, but only if you go out the right exit. The one we took was about 4 blocks away. In any case my only gripe was that all they had was 1 king bed suites, and a rollaway bed was an extra $15! That's not cool for three dudes.

Our first destination was the Air & Space Museum. After a lunch of overpriced but welcome McDonalds we set out to see some history. Of course, the Air & Space museum is by far my favorite. Tim took this opportunity to take lots of pictures, and you can see him doing his thing in the photo. I guess this is good place to explain: Tim's thing is photography, and he's really pretty good at it. He does nature and other artsy shots, and you can see some of his stuff on his Fotocommunity web site (Which I have added to the link bar on the right). It's a German site, but you can pretty much figure it out. A word to the wise: the tabs at the top take you to pictures from all the people on that site, and "Akt" apparently means "naked ladies" so don't click that at work.

From there we proceeded to the Hirshhorn Sculpture Garden to get pictures of the crazy statues and stuff. My favorite was the Needle Tower- I wanted to see it from the angle in this picture but was afraid to get that close. This is a good place to mention that it was hot as fudge outside- while Tim was taking pictures Daniel and I mostly were trying to find shade. We marched across the mall to the other sculpture garden near the archives (here's a decent map). While we were there, I was seriously fighting the heat stroke. I can't believe that I used to throw on a 4-layer wool uniform, strap on 75lb drums and run around all day in this kind of heat! By the time we were done there, we decided to go into the Museum of Natural History long enough to cool off and buy a $3 bottle of water. And to think I thought it was atrocious to pay 3 dollars for a gallon of gas. Oh well. Necessity is the mother of ridiculous spending. We wandered around long just enough to soak up some ac and see a few exhibits. Namely the dinosaur bones (as a tribute to 8-year-old Marc) and the gems and minerals (as a tribute to my dad).

From there we hit one of the lesser known sites: The Old Post Office. It has a great old clock tower that's not as high as the Washington Monument, but a lot less crowded. The picture taking is a little obscured by the wires that block the windows, but there were some missing ones where Tim could get his lens through. On a side note, check out the bike things that they rent outside the Post office! Next time I head to DC I think I'll round up 6 friends and get one of those bad boys. Actually, better leave at least one seat open because we'd certainly be picking up some ladies.

Next we hit the classics. We walked to the Washington monument, and just as we got there it mercifully started to rain. While other people ran for cover, I looked up and saw a single dark cloud moving quickly and we decided to ride it out. All in all, the rain didn't last long and was actually pretty nice. Here Daniel took the one and only picture of me (up top) from the whole weekend, and you can see that everything got damp pretty fast. We proceeded down the mall to the WWII Memorial, which is actually very well done. I had read years ago (I swear in USA Today) that the individual state pillars would have their openings sized proportionally to how many people from that state died in the war. However, they all looked the same to me. I asked the helpful park ranger (who looked like a miniature Mark McGwire), and he said that was never the case. I don't think I'm crazy enough to make that up on my own, so maybe that was a preliminary thing.

It's worth mentioning that the WWII memorial was our first encounter with Lead America. After finding their website, I think they could be the subject of future column. I know- big talk from a former People to People Student Ambassador (see previous blog). I told Tim and Daniel that you can't cross the beltway without seeing at least 3 student tour groups, and we had already seen a few- one with matching hats, one Asian group with matching messenger bags and really tiny cameras, but Lead America was by far the most immense. They were everywhere. The best part about seeing these groups is realizing that high-schoolers never change. You can watch their groups and go "Ah hah, there's the Steve, that's the Megan, there's the Me, and this must be the Josh (always accompanied by the Adam)." Oh yeah. Good times. There were all well behaved though, so it was cool.

We marched on down to the Lincoln Memorial, which is always fun. Since Tim was taking pictures, I actually took the time to read that whole long inscription on the inside. A while later we found poor Tim halfway down on the steps, camera at the ready, trying to get a clear shot of honest Abe. I'm pretty sure that will never happen (especially on a Saturday in July) so we just chilled on the steps like a couple of beltway insiders until he gave up.

Next was the Vietnam Memorial. It's a stark contrast to the WWII memorial in just about every way. Besides the obvious architectural differences, the whole feel is different. Whereas WWII has a sort of celebratory, feel good sense to it, the Vietnam memorial is much more somber and sad. Even the visitors openly talk and admire at WWII, but over at the wall it's almost silent. It's just so much more personal when you can stand and read off the actual names. Often people will leave personal artifacts or short life stories of the men and women memorialized there. They help you realize that each name was an actual entire life- then you realize that there's 58,000 names on it. I get choked up.

We walked home by way of the White House, but you really don't get very close to it. After that it was back to the hotel. I think we all could have collapsed right then and there (especially Tim, whose was still on German time), but we were starving. The front desk people sent us to Old Ebbit, where I had a delectable parmesan crusted Trout, and Tim won the award for "first person to officially fall asleep at the table while waiting for the food." It's also worth noting that they have posted the dress code on the website, where they say anything goes. However, in our shorts and t-shirts, we definitely stuck out among the suits and prom dresses. Luckily we were way beyond caring.

After that, we headed back to the hotel and crashed. The next morning we got 2 complimentary breakfast buffets, so we had to pay $16 for the third. I decided that if I was paying 16 bucks for waffles, oatmeal and fruit I was going to make it count. We headed to Union Station and got Daniel and Tim got on their train without incident. I took the Metro back to Huntington and was on my way home.

It was a fun weekend all around. I really wish I'd thought of taking a picture of the three of us, but once I saw the kind of shots Tim was taking I sort of lost my photo motivation. Daniel made it home fine and Tim is currently wandering around New York City taking pictures until he heads back to Germany Thursday, so look for those on his site.

Trip Overview- I wanted this to be in the title link but it was too long. Still neat thought!

All I did was take a trip!

Holy Crap! I stumbled upon this gem while writing the follow-up about our weekend in DC, and I decided that it just can't wait.

I wanted to reference People to People, and while clicking around the website, I found this! Do you see what the kid in the picture is doing? He is freaking MEMBER OF PTPI DEMINING TEAM WORKING TO ERADICATE LANDMINES IN SRI LANKA! You can see him poking around in mine-ridden dirt with a flak-jacket and face shield on! Is that what the organization is doing now? Oh my Lord! I don't think I (or Carly) had any idea what we were signing up for! What we did was just a trip around Europe. Maybe this kid saw the brochure and asked "This looks good and all, but do you have anything that's a little more, I don't know, edgy?" I guess we really dodged a bullet there. Or a landmine.

Note: I guess the picture on that page changes every time you access it, so I went ahead and posted the picture here. Yikes.