More Links

It's Saturday afternoon, I'm about to skip town for 2 (or 3) weeks, and nothing all that interesting has happened has happened lately. You know what that means- internet links trump an actual post!

Artist creates a "sculpture" in city's main intersection to celebrate Tour de France- consisting of multiple, conflicting road signs. What could go wrong?
Virtual Bubblewrap! I like the assessment that this could be either the best or worst gadget ever made. I'd be pretty shocked if this caught on, but then again, no one really saw slap bracelets coming. And speaking of awesome gadgets...

More baby names stuff. This is one of those "fine line" issues. I do hate it when people cop out and give their kids an overly generic or popular name, but I'm not sure I'm on board with paying consultants to help you chose. But check out the article, and notice how people struggle with the choice and still choose lame names.

Yes Virginia, there is an internet Moral Authority, and my new goal is to end up in their offender database. I was going to post some pictures of babies on the family farm, but it would seem that according to their criteria I've already got it covered. Oh well, just to be safe.

People spend millions to build their McMansions out in the country, and are then angry at the nearby farmers for using manure on their fields. Which they have been doing since, I don't know, the dawn of time? Sheesh.

Al Gore's son was arrested for speeding, possesion of marijuana and perscription drugs. At least he was driving a Prius!

Apparently, 2007 is on track to be the worst summer on record for flight delays. Tell me about it!

During a federal investigation, a passenger was let on to a plane with a fake bomb. Don't worry though, the TSA confiscated his water bottle. My favorite quote of the article: "We don't discuss the results (of our tests) because they tend to paint an inaccurate picture of the competency of our work force"

Have a great weekend!

Friday Minutia!

It's Friday, so I'm going to do another one of those "Summary of interesting things I stumbled upon this week that don't deserve their own post" posts. So here are some more fun links for you to check out:

• Failure is not an Option. Schools are trying to lower their student failure rates with ridiculous measures like ignoring abscences and doing away with deadlines. This is something that really brings my inner-crotchety old man out to say that the world is going to hell in a handbasket- Especially when I see quotes like this:
  
  "It's good because it doesn't confuse your work habits with your knowledge," says the Grade 12 student at North Toronto Collegiate. "School isn't there to teach you all life's lessons."
  
  School is there to teach you work habits! If all that matters is what you know, we should just pass out crib sheets instead of attending class. If you think you can go through life without anyone caring about your work habits, you've got another thing coming, junior. Actually, I probably could make a whole post out of this.



• Speaking of which, how about homework bans? I'm conflicted about this, because on one hand, we are being too soft on kids. But on the other, I swear there were days in high school when I had had more work than I could handle. If we complained about it, the teachers would say "You're supposed to have an hour of homework a night." I think they all thought they were only ones giving it to us.
  
  Both of those articles deal with schools in Canada, but I'm sure the phenomenon has already crossed the border like so much frigid air.



• A New Zealand couple wants to name their baby "4real." With a number. This is a collision of how much I hate numbers being used as letters or words (are you listening, Numb3rs?), and how I hate, hate stupid made-up names for kids. Think about it: his initials would have a number! Ugh.



• Go Teal or Go Home! Between 1988 and 1997 the major sports leagues added 15 new teams, and 12 of them started with teal or purple as their main color (presumably trying to be "different" and those were the only colors not taken by an established team- I wonder why?). This is a phenomenon I have noticed and discussed, but I've never seen it summed up as well as this article does it.



• Purdue gets a shout-out in USA Today for World Trade Center research. It's worth mentioning.



• Man files $3 million lawsuit over red light cameras. Here's an idea: Stop running red lights, jerkwad!



• Check out how movie roles may have been cast differently. I've heard all about how Will Smith turned down the role of Neo in The Matrix. Don't get me wrong- I like the Fresh Prince, but that would have been a disaster! Be sure to check out the horribly photoshopped slideshow- seriously, did they let a kindergartener do this?



• This is just funny (courtesy of The Onion):

Have a great weekend!

Hallmark / Reason I'm a Nerd #32

I hope that we're in a "judgment-free" zone, and we can overlook what a giant band dork I am, and appreciate this little insight into the human mind. A few days ago I was talking to my good buddy Eric, and we were discussing making the pilgrimage back to Purdue for the Alumni Band. Last night I was sitting there drumming on my practice pad, trying to see if I remembered how to play the various school songs (yes- this is how I spend my evenings). Well, I had most of Hail Purdue, but I couldn't remember how the little tag on the end went. I tried for a while, then I finally gave up, thinking "Oh well, I'll figure it out when they mail me the music."

This morning I was back at it, tapping away, when my friend Shelley sent me a text message. My ringer for txts just happens to be the Hail Purdue tag (jeeze- maybe this should be reasons I'm a nerd #32-35), and as it was playing, my brain was like "Oh yeah!" and I played right along with it. I thought that was pretty neat, but then I tried to play it again without the music, and couldn't. I had to make my phone do the ringer again 2 or 3 times before I could play it solo! Let's hear it for context-specific memory.

Totally unrelated story:
I just got back from Hallmark, where I had to go buy some cards for the perfect storm of birthdays, father's days, and weddings that's brewing. Those of you that know me know that in my world, I am planning way ahead. Except the wedding- that was last weekend. Sue me.

What I want to know is, who's big idea were those greeting cards that blast the most repetitive part of a song at top volume when you open them? There had to be at least 20 kids in that store, and they were absolutely fascinated with these things. And they weren't all songs- some were sounds effects like laughter, or they said "Happy Birthday!" and the Father's day ones made (I kid you not) engine and power tool noises.

If you've heard how annoying these cards are one at a time, try picturing the constant cacophony of tinny music and obnoxious sound effects that filled the entire store for the duration of the time I was in there. I narrowly escaped with my sanity, but I swear I was almost knocking people down on my way out. I actually made a fairly daring move to get in line before one mom with her three kids, each of whom had selected one of these cards, and had progressed to what I like to call the "rap" stage of messing with them- where you open and close it repeatedly to make it go "Hap...hap...ha-ha-happy father's day!" I totally cut them off, but I think the mom understood. She was saying things like "C'mon kids, let's save some of the batteries for Daddy" and had a look on her face like "Good Lord, what have I done?"

As a side note, I didn't even stop to look at the 99 cent cards, because those always stink. It's like how you can buy the little bag of Twizzlers for cheap, but you understand that you're getting less. In this case, we all know that the cheap cards are less laugh and tear-producing. I figure this is probably a great backhanded compliment in the Hallmark writer's room: Someone pitches an idea, and the boss says "Hey, that's good! It'll make a great 99 cent card." Getting picked for a "value" card is probably like winning a Juno award.

I guess my point is if you receive a card from me in the next few days and it seems hastily chosen, know that there were extenuating circumstances!

Random Minutia Post

Last night I was talking to Carly on the phone, and I was explaining that I have a three day weekend, and absolutely nothing to do with it. She commented that this is her last free weekend before going back to work, and before you knew it, I was buying a ticket to Connecticut. What are we going to do there? Who knows, but it should be better than sitting around here!

So here's a bunch of thoughts/links that i stumbled across throughout the week that I wanted to share, yet none of them merit their own post.

• Last weekend I saw the new Pirates of the Caribbean, and I liked it. But you know what? It was confusing. Every character has deals with every other character, some they plan on keeping, some they're just lying about, people are constantly double-crossing each other- by halfway through the movie (which is about 90 minutes) I was totally lost. Plus, it has that loopy Mummy Returns quality of "Oh, now that this obscure spell is activated we must counter it with this obscure spell" which is a little too arbitrary for my tastes. As we were walking out of the theatre I said "Was anyone else totally lost by the end?" and my friends were like "Oh good, I thought I was the only one." I still recommend seeing it, but be prepared.



• As a side note, what exactly does Orlando Bloom bring to the table? Granted he was in two of the biggest trilogies of modern cinema, and he did a passable job, but was he really that good in anything? I know the ladies like him, but I just don't see what makes him stand out from the crowd.



• Check out the awesome Vader project.



• I bought the new Linkin Park CD, which I have been dying to get because their first two albums were so good. This one? Meh. What I love the most about their music is the complexity and structure, but this one kind of phones it in. For example, here's the chorus of one of my favorite songs ever, Numb:
  
  I've become so numb / I can't feel you there
  Become so tired / so much more aware
  I'm becoming this / all I want to do
  Is be more like me / and be less like you
  
  Now here's The Shadow of the Day, off the new album:
  
  And the sun will set for you,
  The sun will set for you.
  And the shadow of the day,
  Will embrace the world in grey,
  And the sun will set for you.
  
  Do you see the difference? You can hear it.



• MSN messenger keeps giving me a link to the story "Who's to Blame for Lindsay Lohan's Behavior?" Uh, how about Lindsay Lohan? Damn generation E and their lack of accountability.



• Jesse Jackson's peeved because the Martin Luther King memorial will have two sculptures done by a Chinese sculptor- even though he was chosen by the 90% African-American design committee and referred to them by an African-American artist.



• Here's a video about the top 10 video game weapons. You don't necessarily have to watch it, but they ranked the red shell in Mario Kart #2, and they are so right.

Okay, that's it. Have a great weekend everyone!

New York to London

You may have already heard about this, but in case you haven't: Check out what you get when you ask Google how to drive from New York City to London. Hint- look at step 23.

I just wonder why they have you swim to Le Havre, France. Wouldn't it be faster to go straight to Portsmouth? Of course, this wouldn't be the first time Google Maps lead me astray.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Spring Break 2007

The amazing thing is that 2 weeks ago, it was beautiful outside. I was out reading in the hammock and such. And this picture was taken this morning: What is this, Indiana? And it's not like that poor tree doesn't have enough problems with the dang japanese beetles as it is. So do you know what I did this morning? Well, after the 4 or 5 consecutive power outages made my various appliances beep and wake me up (which isn't too bad- it was like 8:00), I went outside to shake the snow off of my poor trees before they broke. I don't even know if that's something you're supposed to do, but there I was. After one good shake (of a big tree) I learned that it was better to use the broom to shake them from far away, because that way the snow doesn't dump right on you and go down your collar. Don't worry folks- I build fighter jets for a living.

For some bonus minutia, here's something I found when I was going through my mail this morning:A warranty expiration in itself is not that odd. What I found curious was that usually they say "Dear Mr. BURGESS the warranty on your 2004 HONDA ACCORD, VIN #XXXXX is about to expire." But on this particular mailing, they want me to tell them my VIN- if they don't already know that, how do they know anything about my car and/or it's warranty? That's when I flipped it over to find the true gem: It was addressed to "Marc Burgess or Current Resident."

Mostly, this makes me sad. This means that this company has learned that they can indiscriminately send out warranty expiration notices, and there are enough paranoid/dumb people out there to fall for it to make it profitable. Ugh.

LA is Not, However, a Panini Town

For lunch on Thursday we ate at the Northrop Grumman cafeteria. They had a lot of options, and I decided to go for the Ham and Swiss Panini.

So when it was my turn, I stepped up to the sandwich counter and said "I'll have the ham and swiss panini please." "Okay" said the worker, who grabbed a hoagie bun, sliced it in half and asked "Do you want mayo?" I said "I'm sorry, I wanted the panini." She replied "This is the panini. It's not a panini in the typical sense." I said "Oh... Do you have light mayo?"

So as I walked away with what was clearly a cold, ham & swiss sub on a hoagie bun, I was left wondering in what sense this was a panini. And if you already have a sandwich counter (and menu), why would you make a special column for "Specialty Sandwiches" and bill it as a panini when it was identical to their ham & swiss sub? Probably so they could charge more. I mean hey- it worked on me, right?

A quick Wiki check (that's a wiki Wiki check in Hawaii) tells me that a Panini is plural for Panino, which just means "sandwich" or "bread roll" in Italian. At least dictionary.com backs me up that it's usually toasted. See? You learn something new every day.

Not a panini in the typical sense. Whatever.

NASCAR? Sign Me Up!

This is not about the wedding- I'll get around to that when I have time. No, this is just a letter that Amazon sent me with some recommendations, based on other items that I have purchased. They are:

ESPN Ultimate Nascar: The 100 Defining Moments in Stock Car Racing History

Speed, Guts, and Glory: 100 Unforgettable Moments in NASCAR History

The Devil Wears Prada (Widescreen Edition)

If you know me, you probably know that I think NASCAR is one of the worst things to happen in the history of sports, if not mankind. Why would I need not one, but two books chronicling their 100 greatest moments? I think I purchased the ESPN 25th anniversary book from Amazon, but other than that, what makes them think I like NASCAR this much?

Furthermore, where did The Devil Wears Prada come from? What have I ever purchased that would indicate an interest in that? Shouldn't the combo of Meryl Streep and NASCAR alone have set off some sort of alarm, like with your credit card if you buy a walker in Sarasota and a snowboard in Denver in the same week?

Well done, Amazon. You truly know me.

HRO? TFSO? WTF?

Okay, so here's today's insight into how the government works. For all of our human resource needs, we always contacted the Human Resources Office, or HRO. Today we were notified that HRO was changing it's name as a department- to (are you ready?):

The Total Force Strategy Office. TFSO.

Call me crazy, but isn't that a much worse and less descriptive name? Isn't that department just called Human Resources everywhere? When you think of tasks like recruiting, benefits, what-have-you, do you think "That sounds like a job for the Total Force Strategy Office?" It doesn't really work the other way either. If you hear "Navy Total Force Strategy" do you think "I bet they handle retirement and health care for the civilian employees?" No you don't.

This falls into the category of "not really a big deal, but why?" Was there a problem with the name HRO? I don't get it.

Unnecessary Folders

So I finished my taxes yesterday, and I wanted to file away all the various papers and printouts for next year. Of course, I had no manila folders. So while I was out running errands I stopped into Staples to pick some up, and I was presented with two options. They were:

25 folders for $4.25, or
100 folders for $5.50.

Now, I need one folder. I don't need 25, let alone 100. But I would have to be an idiot not to buy the big pack, right? I mean, it's 17 cents a folder in the small pack, and 5.5 cents each in the big pack. Inside, it's the exact same product. The 25 pack is highway robbery!

This is why I'm a dream consumer- I always fall for this. It's the same reason I always get the biggie meal at Wendy's, the big popcorn chicken at KFC, and most notably, the gigantic Slurpee at 7-11. Honestly, if the 16 oz. Slurpee is $1.09, and the 40 oz. one is $1.39, what are you going to buy?

Oh- Tangent. I haven't had a delicious Slurpee in almost a year. This is a direct result of the only decent 7-11 in town closing up shop. Granted, the other 7-11 is still open for business, but it is ghetto and not even the sweet allure of the greatest soft frozen drink of all time can pull me in there. However, the rumor is that the former 7-11 is going to be torn down to make way for a Chipotle, so that would definitely help ease the pain.

So now I have roughly 99 manila folders I don't need. I'm trying to weigh potential alternative uses for them, since I file things maybe twice a year. So far I think I could burn them to heat my house, or craft an origami kitty hat.