Hallmark / Reason I'm a Nerd #32

I hope that we're in a "judgment-free" zone, and we can overlook what a giant band dork I am, and appreciate this little insight into the human mind. A few days ago I was talking to my good buddy Eric, and we were discussing making the pilgrimage back to Purdue for the Alumni Band. Last night I was sitting there drumming on my practice pad, trying to see if I remembered how to play the various school songs (yes- this is how I spend my evenings). Well, I had most of Hail Purdue, but I couldn't remember how the little tag on the end went. I tried for a while, then I finally gave up, thinking "Oh well, I'll figure it out when they mail me the music."

This morning I was back at it, tapping away, when my friend Shelley sent me a text message. My ringer for txts just happens to be the Hail Purdue tag (jeeze- maybe this should be reasons I'm a nerd #32-35), and as it was playing, my brain was like "Oh yeah!" and I played right along with it. I thought that was pretty neat, but then I tried to play it again without the music, and couldn't. I had to make my phone do the ringer again 2 or 3 times before I could play it solo! Let's hear it for context-specific memory.

Totally unrelated story:
I just got back from Hallmark, where I had to go buy some cards for the perfect storm of birthdays, father's days, and weddings that's brewing. Those of you that know me know that in my world, I am planning way ahead. Except the wedding- that was last weekend. Sue me.

What I want to know is, who's big idea were those greeting cards that blast the most repetitive part of a song at top volume when you open them? There had to be at least 20 kids in that store, and they were absolutely fascinated with these things. And they weren't all songs- some were sounds effects like laughter, or they said "Happy Birthday!" and the Father's day ones made (I kid you not) engine and power tool noises.

If you've heard how annoying these cards are one at a time, try picturing the constant cacophony of tinny music and obnoxious sound effects that filled the entire store for the duration of the time I was in there. I narrowly escaped with my sanity, but I swear I was almost knocking people down on my way out. I actually made a fairly daring move to get in line before one mom with her three kids, each of whom had selected one of these cards, and had progressed to what I like to call the "rap" stage of messing with them- where you open and close it repeatedly to make it go "Hap...hap...ha-ha-happy father's day!" I totally cut them off, but I think the mom understood. She was saying things like "C'mon kids, let's save some of the batteries for Daddy" and had a look on her face like "Good Lord, what have I done?"

As a side note, I didn't even stop to look at the 99 cent cards, because those always stink. It's like how you can buy the little bag of Twizzlers for cheap, but you understand that you're getting less. In this case, we all know that the cheap cards are less laugh and tear-producing. I figure this is probably a great backhanded compliment in the Hallmark writer's room: Someone pitches an idea, and the boss says "Hey, that's good! It'll make a great 99 cent card." Getting picked for a "value" card is probably like winning a Juno award.

I guess my point is if you receive a card from me in the next few days and it seems hastily chosen, know that there were extenuating circumstances!