Memorial Day/The 500

I hope everyone had an enjoyable Memorial Day weekend. I spent it doing the yard work that I've been putting off, so you know, good times there. Actually in the morning I went for my first long bike ride- something I've been meaning to get into as a running replacement. I set out intending to go about 10 miles (that seemed reasonable for a first try, right?) and ended up doing 13, and I wasn't even tired. I'm still working on the whole bike-to-running correlation, but it seems like for every mile you can run, expect to bike about four miles. It was a pretty low key day all around.

But I'll tell you what I didn't do: watch the Indy 500. Of course, I'm all in favor of anything that brings money and exposure to Indianapolis, but I never really understood the allure of watching cars drive around in a circle. I sure can't explain the current popularity of NASCAR, but I'm sure it has a lot to do with beer. In my days with the Purdue AAMB, I had the opportunity to attend a handful of 500s- we played the opening ceremonies, and they would let us sit in infield afterward if we were so inclined. I watched the race once, and I say that in the same way I say I dated a sorority girl once- with heavy emphasis on the "once."

The key part there might have been that our seats were in the infield. This was not the fancy grandstands that make up the greatest racing venue on earth. This was crappy bleachers surrounded by mountains of empty beer cans and rednecks puking all over themselves. We had a few girls in our little group, and if I had a dollar for every toothless, shirtless drunk guy that yelled "Show us you t***!" or "T*** for beer!" I could've bought like 50 more frozen lemonades. I feel like I barely escaped with my life.

As for the event itself, you know how some things are better in real life? Like how baseball is mind-numbingly boring on TV, but makes for quite the enjoyable afternoon in person? Well, auto racing is the exact opposite. It's not that great on TV, but it's downright unpleasant to sit through on the track. It's incredibly loud- to the point where you can only talk to each other for about a second each lap when the cars are on the polar opposite side of the track. Then it gets progressively louder until you have to cover your ears, then the cars scream by so fast that you can't really tell what's happening, then you get bathed in exhaust, then it gets quieter, then you have just enough time to yell "Let's go home!" before the cycle starts up again. Annnd repeat for four hours. Hence I watched the race once, then spent every other year reading on the bus instead. Incidentally, the girls were rooting for "the purple car" (there was only one) because "you can tell which one it is."

However, I did get to witness one of the greatest Indy moments of all time. Picture: Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Memorial Day 2000. The racing world is excited because for the first time in history there are two female drivers in the race- Lyn St. James and Sara Fisher (this was the pre-Danica and Milka era). So how did they fare with the world watching? They crashed into each other, taking them both out of the race. I won't even make any jokes, because it's just too easy. I will say that it didn't help women in racing any more than this or this.

So this coming week is what we live for in the government- a Monday holiday colliding with an off Friday. So it'll be three days off, three days on, three days off. Nothing to complain about there! Have a great week everyone!