Cars are Stalking Me

Check out what came in the mail the other day- this is the kind of things companies send you when you rent a lot of cars and they way overestimate your importance. In any case, tell me this isn't creepy:
Somehow, the knowledge that thinking about me "revs their engines" makes me feel a little dirty. But you know, the fun didn't stop there! The individual cars sent me snapshots with some little personal notes that may or may not have been swiped from a desperate girl's Match.com profile. Not that I would know.

The Milan has little personality in it's photo- just like in real life.

Traditionalist (def): A car marketed toward senior citizens.

Who decided that the Taurus should write like a kindergartner/axe murderer? Although, oddly enough I always figured that's what the Focus's handwriting would look like.


The Fusion definitely gets the award for being the most aggressive of the bunch.

I fail to see how this was supposed to entice me to rent cars- mostly, it was a waste of paper. But I wanted to take it one step further and do a little handwriting analysis on our specimens here. I found one usable (free) website, and to test it out, this is what it said about me:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a social person who likes to talk and meet others.
You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

So, take it's conclusions with a grain of salt. It's probably not worth using the site to analyze our Budget friends. But, this is what my signature looks like when I try to write with the mouse:

Anyway, that's probably the most unsettling personification of cars to ever call me by name. The only thing that would be creepier is if the next Marriott mailer is a snapshot of a Residence Inn that says "I miss having you insi..." You know what? I'll just leave that up to your imagination.