Meet the Prakasams Part 1

What we originally meant to do last weekend was fly down to Ft. Lauderdale so that Ramya could run the Miami marathon, figuring that it would be a good time for me to meet the parents while we were there. Unfortunately, with Ramya's combination of Achilles Tendonitis and Runner's knee, her doctor advised her to not be foolish and skip it. Luckily, she was able to defer her enrollment until next year. But since we had already purchased the tickets, we decided to make a little trip out of it.

Friday began like almost every day of the trip- by which I mean we had to get up at four a.m. In this case it was to make our seven a.m. flight out of Regan. The metro wasn't even running yet, but that Red Top cab was right on time, and cheery as ever! After a quick stop in Atlanta we hit sunny Florida. This began the second trend of the trip: being improperly dressed at every stage. I was still bundled up from the 20-degree DC weather, and when we got off the plane in Ft. Lauderdale, it was like bam! Summer. For what it's worth, the Ft. Lauderdale airport, though cheery and pastel colored, smells like a dirty diaper. It was also filled to the brim with senior citizens (making it like a Bob Evans with higher prices and more waiting). Draw your own conclusions.

I met Ramya's dad Mandi at the airport, and on the way home we stopped at Publix- a southern grocery chain that Ramya has the audacity to like better than Meijer. I mean, it was pretty nice, but can you buy breakfast bread, Milk, DVDs and a dining room table at Publix? I rest my case.

Ramya's sister Vidya (who I met for the first time last weekend- which is a story of it's own (for someone else to tell)) was waiting for us at home, but I didn't get to meet her Mom Amudha until lunch at Sweet Tomatoes. So here's the whole family- and remember that Ramya almost comes up to my shoulder:Needless to say, I felt like a giant in the Prakasam household. I mean, if I had been in that picture my head would have been outside the frame. One of the first things I did when I got to their house was change the batteries in all their smoke detectors. I'm serious- they have like 8 upstairs and two downstairs, each one of them beeping every 30 seconds because the battery was low. I asked how long that had been going on, and their estimate was "At least 6 months." They say that they had all just gotten used to it, but afterward they were like "It's so quiet in here!" At one point Amudha asked me if I played basketball in high school. I thought "Wow! She knows that people from Indiana are crazy about the hoops! (except me)" No no, she just thought I was really tall. Ha ha. Ha ha.

So how did the meeting go? Very well! We all got along great. Later that day Ramya, Vidya and I headed out on our own, and Ramya said her dad told her "He seems really bright!" I said "They're impressed already? Well, wait until I actually say something smart." Ramya replied "I've been waiting for that for a long time." I will now counter with an anecdote from the previous weekend: We were talking about rednecks, and Ramya mentioned what her dad calls rednecks (which I couldn't repeat if my life depended on it). She said "It's funny because it literally means 'red neck.' It's actually referring to the color of their neck." I said "That's what it means in English too, honey." She says "Oh... Right."

So Vidya took us to Seminole Hard Rock, the indian casino where you can throw away money while looking at Steven Tyler's jumpsuit and Rob Zombie's guitar. I've had my fill of casinos in the last months, so I just wasted one dollar in the slot machines. Mostly we walked around looking at the various pools, shops and art galleries- of course, since I was so hot I had changed into shorts, and now it was uncomfortably cold. What up, Florida?

On the way home we stopped at the new Ikea for two reasons: Vidya has never been in one, and I really wanted a fro-yo. This Ikea was like every other one built in the last five years: when you walk in the door, you can go right to the escalator or left to the bathrooms and checkout/snack stand. Personally, I like to go grab a $1 yogurt cone, then head up to see some affordable fashion-forward Swedish goods. I do this literally every time I enter an Ikea. Except this time, there were those tensa-barrier things blocking the hallway to the snack stand with a sign that said "Do not enter." I didn't see any hazzards (construction, barf) so the Ikea lady watching me and I had this exchange:

Me: "Can I just run over there and get an ice cream cone?"
Ikea Lady [highly annoyed and antagonistic]: "No you can not!!"
Me: "Um...Why?"
IL: "Because you can't! You can go out that door, down to the other door, then to the cafeteria."
Me: "You're telling me that instead of walking the ten yards from here to the cafeteria, I have to go out this door, walk outside to the other end of this building, go in that door, and walk 90% of the way back instead of just walking from here to it?"
IL: "That's right. We're considering building a wall there because people keep doing that."
Me: "...okay."

At this point I dropped it and just headed upstairs, but I wish I would have pushed it a little further. I mean, you really have to see the layout to know how truly asinine her point of view was. Not only is that hallway used to get from the entrance to the cafeteria and bathrooms in every Ikea I've ever been in, but that is the only possible reason for the hallway to be there. It's not like a behind-the-scenes employee access route. That's what it's for. It would be absurd to "build a wall" there like the lady suggested- then to get from the entrance to the bathrooms you would actually have to walk around outside, or go through the entire store (not to mention that it would leave you with a hallway to nowhere). Not only that, but Ikea is a big open warehouse-like place. There isn't really anywhere to build a wall! I know I can get worked up about little things, but seriously- that's ridiculous. I should just have been like "Oookay..." and ducked under the barrier and went. What was she going to do?

So back home, I got my first taste of Indian food. I've been very cautious, because the one time I remember eating Indian food it was something that burned my esophagus and made my eyes water, and I've never tried it again since. But Amudha made something that sounds like "doe sai" for dinner, and they were kind of like crepes filled with various saucy vegetables. And you know what? They were delicious! I'm beggining to think that first thing I tried was a bit of an outlyer.

Well, I've reached bedtime Friday night in my story and in real life right now, so I think I'm going to add a "Part 1" to the title and pick up with day 2 tomorrow.