New Orleans: Not So Much.

I'm back in the LP, if only for a few days. People have been asking me what I thought of New Orleans, and I've been finding it hard to stick the old adage about "If you can't say something nice..." It's really hard to give a fair evaluation, because the poor city has had a rough couple of years. And keep in mind that I was there for 3 days on a business trip, and I just wanted to get in, go to the meeting, and get back. Had I been looking for the world's strongest 2-for-1 drink special or transvestite hookers it probably would have been a much different trip.

That said, it's pretty hard to tell how much of the general disarray was due to the hurricane, and how much is just plain neglect. My biggest annoyance was the street signs- tons of them were damaged. Speed limit and even stop signs were twisted around so that you couldn't see them when driving, and some road signs had been rotated 90 degrees so that they made you think you were on the wrong street. I don't know much about disaster recovery, but it seems like helping outsiders navigate would be something of a priority.

Speaking of the streets, there were potholes that you could lose a Ford Focus in everywhere, but at least they gave revelers somewhere to throw their beer cans. Most of the sidewalks were in a pretty sad state of disrepair, creating a plethora of puddles filled with what I'm sure was clean water. And it wasn't until I was out at night (in a big group- I'm no dummy) that I noticed about 3/4 of the businesses are vacant. Many are boarded up, and some are just sitting there with broken windows, full of garbage. And let's not forget- New Orleans is a freaking swamp, so it was hot and humid the entire time. It's not my type of place.

And what about Bourbon Street? Ah yes- although it's the last place I would ever go for a vacation, I figured since I was there anyway (my hotel was about a block from the French Quarter) I had to check it out. It's pretty much exactly what I expected, but it's hard to accurately imagine the smell of garbage, urine, spilled beer and vomit that permeates the place. We walked from one end to the other, until we reached all the bars with the rainbow flags and one of my coworkers informed me "This is where we turn around." Every business there is either a bar, a strip club, or a chinsy tourist shop, with the occasional restaurant for variety. It was uniformly dirty and garbage laden, but I thought the worst part was the "barkers." By which I mean that every seedy establishment had a guy out on the street basically manhandling you, trying to get you inside because they had either the cheapest drinks or the youngest girls. It was a bit of a low as far their tourist season goes, but I could definitely envision the whole place being packed with revelers staggering from one bar to the next. It's like when the Real World was in New Orleans, and I would (accidentally) see shots of them partying, and think "Wow, that is the most uncomfortable situation I can imagine."

So, I'm sure New Orleans has it's nice parts- I just didn't see any of them on this trip. We need to do a follow-up meeting in a few weeks, and it's either going to be there or in Corpus Cristi, Texas. I said "Corpus would work for me!"

As for my short term plans, Ramya is coming down to hang out, and we have no plans other than watching Hot Shots Part Deux (which is, in my opinion, the funniest movie of it's genre) and making French Toast, so that's already shaping up to be a winner! On Sunday I'm going to drive up there so we can do some shopping during Virginia's tax-free weekend. Woo-hoo! Then next week I'm off to LA, which should be an infinitely better destination than I had this week.

Totally unrelated: Check out this web comic, which proves I wasn't alone in my thoughts about Tranformers. This one's pretty funny as well. Also, awesome.