iPod Woes

Let's get this out of the way: I am not an Apple guy. I have always preferred PCs. I feel the main difference is that PC's are eminently flexible, which means you can really screw them up. A Mac will always work fine, as long as you are doing exactly what Steve Jobs wants you to do with it. If you want to do something or use a program they didn't intend for you to, you are out of luck- end of story. That's said, Apple products are a lot more reliable. Or so I thought.

I've had my iPod since Christmas 2006. I think it was my dad's attempt to introduce me to the wonderful world of Apple, and it kind of worked. Soon I had installed a special iPod adapter in my car, and I had one of those docking station shelf systems for it in my living room that I use all the time. It truly has replaced CDs- I've gotten used to the fact that I can listen to whatever I want, whenever I want. Which makes it all the more troubling when it suddenly dies.

Two weekends ago I drove up to DC, and as always I was listening to my iPod in the car. The very next day Ramya went to use it, and there was no sound. Initially we thought the headphones were bad, but they worked with other sources and no headphones worked with the iPod. The weird thing was that the screen still showed that it was playing. Both songs and movies seemed to work perfectly, except no sound. I did my due diligence, checked Apple support, did the 5 R's ad nauseum, nothing. So we decided to visit the Apple store (knowing full well that the scant one-year warranty was up).

We went Sunday afternoon, and were greeted by the enthusiastic sales people. After describing the problem we were sent to talk to a support person, where we told the story again. Mind you this employee was not a member of the highly touted "genius bar"- she was some sort of intermediate. She said "That's weird" and then took it into the back to run some diagnostics. When she returned she offered something like "Well, I didn't see anything wrong with it so I think it's just dead. If you give it to us to recycle you get 10% off of a new iPod! Would you like to purchase a new one now?" I said "Well, it worked fine until it abruptly stopped, so I'd like to investigate a little more. Can you take a more detailed look at it?" She says "Well, the service department can open it up, but that's a little expensive." "How much?" I ask. "The base fee is $250. But that's the same as just buying a new one, so if you recycle this one you'll actually be saving money!" she says with a smile. I say "So wait, you want $250 just to see what the problem is? That doesn't include any of the fees for actual work performed?" She says "Nope. So I would just recommend buying a new one." I said something like "Of course you would. Could I go talk to the Genius Bar back there?" She said sure, but first we had to talk to another dude to get put in the system.

We were directed over to a guy at a computer who took my name, phone number, iPod serial number, etc. He then said "Okay, looks like we have a spot open on Thursday at 2:00. Does that work for you?" I was momentarily stunned- Was he serious? I mean, they were treating this like it was a doctor appointment. Thursday at 2:00? I have a job man! I said "Uh, can I just go wait in the line right now? I'd kind of like to get this taken care of." He said some speech about how they like to get the times properly slotted blah blah blah. I said "Well, I see three employees and two customers, so maybe I could just wait in line." He said "Welllllll, I suppose you could try to tell them you're here for a walk-in. They might be able to help you today, but it could be a while." I said thanks.

I walked to the Genius Bar, approached the unoccupied employee, and said I was wondering if I could do a walk-in. He gave a very similar speech about how they prefer you to make an appointment, and it could be a while because they have to help all the appointment holders first, blah blah blah. I looked behind me, saw absolutely no other customers in the service area, and said "That's okay. I'll wait." Really- it was like that scene in Meet the Parents where the lady won't let him on the plane because they aren't seating his row yet, and he looks around and there isn't another soul around. This visible irritated the "Genius," and he said something like "Okay, but we're going to help all of our scheduled guests first, and we'll make sure there's no one else here with an appointment, and then we'll call you. But you better come up right away, because if someone else with an appointment comes up we'll have to help them first."

I walked away, and I kid you not, less than 30 seconds later I hear "Marc!" So I went up to the genius bar. Same story, the dude ran some tests and couldn't find anything wrong. So he says "I think I know what your problem is." I got a little hopeful until he said "I bet as soon as you're done using it, you wrap your headphones around it, don't you?" I said "No, I don't." And he says "Yeah, 'cause when you wrap your headphones around it, it puts stress on the headphone jack and that bends the pins." I said "I have never, ever done that. And I get no sound whatsoever from the headphones- if it was a loose connection, I should be able to at least get some pops or intermittent sound." He was like "Yeah, well then I think your headphone jack must have gotten disconnected- it was probably banged around too much...although this is probably the most pristine iPod that I've ever serviced."

At this point I will mention that iPod is in perfect shape. Seriously. It lives in a protective case, and only ever goes in my car or on the dock at home. It looks brand new. It might be the best kept iPod on the East coast, and I was almost offended that he would suggest improper handling.

Anyway, he was kind enough to pressure me into just buying a new one because that would be cheaper than having them do any actual work toward diagnosing the problem (the same speech every employee gives). I said I would think about it and moved on. I thought, "Well, 99% of the time I'm using it is on a dock connector, so maybe I'll just use it exclusively on the dock at home and in the car." So on a whim I put it on one of the boomboxes they had on display. Here's where it got interesting: no sound. This clearly indicates that the problem is not with the headphone jack.

I went back to the "Genius" Bar, and told the guy that the dock connector didn't work either. This really puzzled him, and he proceeded to try my iPod on several boomboxes before declaring that he had no idea what would cause that. Back at the Bar he referred me to another, presumably more experienced genius, who also ran some diagnostics.

This is as good a time as any to mention that this was about the 8th time since we were there that someone told me to restart my iPod. Look people, I've done that several times. That clearly isn't the fix. I wanted to start greeting the various Apple Store employees by saying "I'm Marc, and I have in fact restarted my iPod." Anyway.

This latest Genius was more arrogant than the rest, and he handed me back my iPod and proclaimed "You have bad sectors." I said "What do mean?" He said "You have bad sectors on your hard drive. Probably from dropping it." I asked "Did the diagnostic test tell you that?" He says "No, that didn't show anything. But if you hold it when you push play, you can feel vibrations." I decided to let the fact that not he nor anyone else can feel a vibration from my iPod go and said "I don't think that really explains it. When you watch a movie it looks perfect, there's just no sound from either port. If there were bad sectors, wouldn't that affect the video playback as well?" He said "You've got bad sectors. But if you recycle this iPod, you'll actually save money over servicing it blah blah blah."

So now we've established that the "Geniuses" at the Apple store are the same straight-off-the-street average Joes that populate "help" desks the world over (I'm looking at you, Dell, Geek Squad, etc.). I left the store mulling over my choices. And by choices, I mean giving in to Apple and buying another iPod that will last approximately one year or not having an iPod. But what do I read about mere days later? Oh, that's right: Apple is introducing the new lineup of iPods- which includes the new Classic (what my style of iPod is now called) that only comes in 120Gb. For how much you ask? $250. The same price Apple wanted me to pay for a last generation, 80Gb classic. Hmm, I wonder why they were giving me such a hard sell... Jerks.

So the next time I had a chance, I decided to dig a little deeper on my own, so I started with the Apple online help again. Once more, they had nothing helpful to say. So, I Googled "iPod no sound." Guess what- the first 10 responses are discussion forums about my exact problem. And it's no mystery- apparently Apple released a bunch of iPods with faulty connections on the logic board. When the iPod gets hot enough (say, left in a car) the solder joints can't handle the thermal expansion and the connections break. Now we know the cause, but this leads to something more troublesome: A common problem that Apple themselves claims to know nothing about, but a simple internet search reveals more than you could want to know. So, the Genius Bar is either intentionally trying to screw me or woefully incompetent. Which is it?

I still haven't decided what to do, but some people on the web have said if you raise a big enough stink, Apple will replace your iPod for the cost of shipping (around $30). What do I want, a different 2 generation old iPod for $30, or a brand new one with 50% more space for $200? Hmm.

P.S. If you have a 5th gen iPod, maybe don't leave it in the car.