You Know You're From Indiana When...

Today I bring you another list of local humor from Facebook. These things are always a little shaky, and the fact that it's actual name is "You know your are from Indiana when....." doesn't help it's credability. So, I've decided to come up with a simple color-coding system to give my interpretation of the various anecdotes. It is as follows:

Blue = Totally true
Purple = Occasionally/Sort of
Green = Heard of this, but I've never actually seen it
Orangy = Untrue
Red = No idea what this is referrancing/Never heard of it

If they need further elaboration, I'll give it individually.

1.You drive for three hours and the scenery outside doesn't change.
Certain places, yeah.
2.There's three feet of snow on the ground and school is still in session.
3.You only go to the mall once a year 'cause it takes too long to get there.
This could be true for some, but we used to walk to the mall all the time.
4.While driving all you see is corn.
See #1
5.People still have Christmas decorations up at Easter.
For every time I've seen this in Indiana, I've probably seen it 5 times in Maryland.
6.You start saying to yourself "More than corn in Indiana my butt."
7.Anyone with a cell phone looks out of place.
8.Walking through Wal-Mart with two carts full of kids is normal.
See #5
9.Anyone with a tan is rich.
10.The hip hang-out place is McDonald's.
11.There really is more than corn in Indiana. There’s soybeans, too.
12.When you plan an orgy and a Euchre game breaks out.
On a side note, I didn't know Euchre was a regional game until I moved here.
13.A restaurant has an invisible wall in the non-smoking section and you believe it works.
I think this is disappearing in Indiana like it is here- I do prefer the plexiglass barrier that clearly divides the smoke cloud.
14.Speeding consists of 2 miles over the speed limit.
15.You think you don't have to use a turn signal on your car because you don't use it on your tractor.
16.You build your dream house on a cornfield, and you considered it posh.
17.You warsh your clothes and you think George Warshington was the first president.
I knew kids that talked like that. Not many, but some.
18.You're proud to be called a Hoosier, even if you don't know what one is.
19.You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute"
20.Detassling was your first job. Bailing hay, your second.
Daniel Detassled!
21.You can stack hay, swim in the pond to clean off, and then have the strength to play a couple of games of hoops all in the same day.
22.You say things like "catty-wumpus" and "kitty-corner".
23.You own a dirtbike or a ATV.
24.You live in a city ... and there's a cornfield in your backyard.
25.High school basketball game draws a bigger crowd on the weekend nights than movie theaters.
26.You can see at least 2 basketball hoops from your yard.
This would imply that you can only see 2 driveways from your yard.
27.You can name every one of Bob Knight's "exploits" over the last few years.
28.You shop at Marsh.
29.Damon Bailey was your childhood hero.
30.The biggest question of your youth was "IU or Purdue?"
31.Indianapolis is the "big city".
It's no New York or LA, but Indy is an awesome place. I would totally live there if I could.
32."Getting caught by a train" is a legitimate excuse for being late to school.
33.People at your high school chewed tobacco.
34.Everyone knows who the town cop is, where he lives, and whether he is at home or on duty.
35.You actually know what the CART vs IRL debate is about and have taken a side.
And I don't even like racing.
36.To you, a raccoon is simply a "coon."
37.The vehicle of choice in your area is not a car, but a pickup.
38.Someone you know is BIG John Mellencamp fan.
39.You've been to the Covered Bridge Festival.
40.To you, a tenderloin is not an expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty, breaded piece of pork served on a bun with pickles.
This used to be one of the lunches at school, and it was always served on the regular hamburger bun even though it's footprint was like twice as big.
41.You call a green bell pepper a "mango."
42.Sometimes, you call the toilet the "commode" or the "stool."
Yes. Those are other words for toilet.
43.In the fall, one of your favorite pranks was corning cars.
44.You know what FFA and 4H stand for.
Future Farmers of America, and, um...
45.You know what chip-and-seal is, and your high school was located on just such a road.
46.You go the county fair every night of it's week-long duration.
47.You can say "French Lick" without laughing out loud.
48.There's actually a college near you named "Ball State."
49.The last "g" is silent in any word ending in "ing."
50.You think the state Bird is Larry.
Har har.
51. If your high school had a hard core marching band and was proud of it.
52. You milk the cow in the barn when playing Euchre and you know what that means.
53. when farting contests are just something to laugh at or just something to do.
54. when driving down a back road road kill is ALL OVER the road, and it doesn't phase you.
55. You use the same utensil for as much as you can, and it doesn't matter if your food touches, it's all going to the same place.
This is regional?
56. When your neighbors are amish, and it's not big deal.
57. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead.
I had that tan during football season.
58. Vacation means going north or south on I-65 for the weekend.
That does run from Chicago to Indy.
59. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again.
60. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
I have family members who have done this.
61. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
Can and have.
62. You see people wearing camoflage at social events (including weddings)
See #5.
63. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
64. You measure distance in minutes.
65. You see a car running the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of year.
66. You drink "pop."
67. You know what "cow tipping" is.
68. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
My senior year it was 23 below, so they closed school for three straight days. It was glorious.
69. You see people wearing bib overalls to funerals.
70. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
71. You know exactly where to go when the party is at "the lake or in the field."
72. You consider strangers people who use your front door.
73. You deny the Colts were ever in Baltimore.
74. When you hang out on a 3ft. hill in the center of town
75. When a girl breaks her leg and everyone still talks about it a year later
76. you see "lost cow" signs
77. you consider jeans and a nice shirt formal attire.
78. If you have ever been to the Twelve Mile 500 or raced in it for that matter.... (aka racing a lawn mower).
79. you understand this saying " a lep is a ball"
And a Baloo is a bear!
80. Someone brings Green Bean Casserole to every social function.
81. People ask you "PU" or "IU" and you know what they are refering to.
82. You hear somebody says Santa Claus and you say, I've been there.
83. Your local 4th of July parade consists of 1 marching band, 1 float, 20 horses, 50 firetrucks and 200 tractors!
84. You're a sophisticated hillbilly.....
85. You say ruf and crik instead of roof and creek
86. You have to use the air condition and heater all in the same day.
87. Shooting road signs is a close second to shooting deer.
88. Back-roading was a typical Friday night.
89. Your town had a "car club" that met every night in the parking lot off the main road.
90. You spray painted your high school class year onto road signs when you were a senior.
91.You Know What It Is To "Country Cruise" and You Do It Frequently For Fun.

Yeah Edy's, Like We Wouldn't Notice

What you see here are two tubs of delicious Edy's frozen treat. I guess they don't call it ice cream or even frozen yogurt anymore- probably due to some high amount of chemicals. But it if it lowers the fat, then I'm cool with it. In any case: The tub on the right was purchased a few months ago and has been sitting out in my garage freezer- contents, 1.75 Qts. I bought the one on the left last week- amount, 1.5 Qts. I think they hope we won't notice because the price is still the same.

Really Edy's? That's 1/7 less than we used to get for the same amount of money. I see this as a significant cut. This probably won't stop me from buying them when they go on sale for 2 for $5, but it will provoke me enough to do a blog post.

Unrelated- In other news, you may remember this gem about a dude with a gas can in DC asking us for money. Wouldn't you know it, the other night the exact same guy carrying the same gas can asked Ramya for gas money in the same spot. He's really doing it wrong. At least I don't have that nagging doubt that he was honest anymore!

A Case of the Mondays

Monday I had a second MRI done on my knee, and I maintained my perfect streak of falling asleep in the process. I can see how someone with claustrophobia issues would find the experience terrifying, but I find the electronic buzzes and clicks oddly hypnotic. But reason I write is that I totally forgot about the appointment until I got to work, at which point I had to turn right around and leave for the "medical plaza," or whatever it's called here. I walked into the radiology department right on time and went to the window the lady says "Can I help you?"
"I'm here for an MRI on my knee" I say.
"Do you have your paperwork?"

Paperwork? At the Orthopedist last week they gave me a single piece of paper that was essentially a handout which said "Go downstairs and get an MRI." It had generic hints like "Inform technician of any medical implants," but other than that I thought it was for my information only. Yeah, I should've brought it, and this was all my fault. I explained this to the lady.

"Do you really need that paper?" I asked.

She replied with incredible sarcasm (and alot of attitude, which wasn't surprising coming from a 40-something woman with a nose ring) "The paper from your doctor that tells us what you need and how to do it? Uh, yeah. We're going to need that."

Long story short, I had to drive home and get it. I set the trip odometer so I could know exactly what my negligence cost me. The damage? 21 miles and 45 minutes of totally worthless driving. But this all went from highly annoying to funny once I retrieved this extremely vital sheet of paper with the doctor's invaluable instructions: It was just a generic handout with a square in which my doctor had written the words without which no images could be magnetically resonanced. They were, and I quote: "MRI Right Knee."

So now it's been so long since I started this post, I can update it with my follow-up with the orthopedist. I had to drive up to his Waldorf office (another long and annoying story that's not my fault), but when I got there we sat down in front of one of those X-ray viewer things (he prefers the physical films as opposed to the CD- I guess it's all the same, right?) and took a look. He said a lot of things like "Oh that's a good looking meniscus, no tears or rough edges" and "Oh my yes those tendons look good." I think he concluded with "That, sir, is a beautiful looking knee." This is all well and good, except for one thing: it still hurts if I try to run. I asked "Well, then what's wrong?" to which he replied "Something that doesn't show up on an MRI" which backs up Dr. McCardel. He referred me to an orthopedist in Georgetown that deals exclusively with runners. When he said that I realized that most of his clientele aren't there for sports injuries- which should have been apparent when I noticed I was the only patient navigating the hallways under my own power. Really- the waiting room is like a 2-to-1 chair-to-hoveround ratio. So, we'll see if Dr. Georgetown has any new insight.

For what it's worth, I did run 5 miles yesterday (on my favorite running trail in Ft. Worth). My legs are really sore and I have some killer blisters, but my knee feels okay! But lemme tell you, I'm going to have to shape up if I want to be competetive for my last year in the 20-29 category- that year off has cost me some speed.