Pause for De-icing

Well, I saw snow again, and ironically, it was also in Dallas. As I said earlier, it was freezing there, but by Wednesday morning there was a layer of snow on the ground and a Munn-like sheet of ice on the roads. It's always hard to judge how bad snow really is in Texas (or Maryland) compared to the midwest, because in Michiana the plows are out as soon as the fist flake hits the ground. In Ft. Worth, I don't think either of their plows even made it to the highway. My contacts there did confirm that the only times they've had snow in the past year, I was there. Lucky me!

The trip from the hotel to the airport usually takes around 35-40 minutes, but it was pushing 2.5 hours with traffic crawling along at around 15 mph. I didn't see any accidents, but as I crested one of the many hills I saw a pickup truck doing a very ice-capade like series of spins in the middle of the highway. I realize that the dude had probably never driven in the snow before, but I watched the display with a sort of detached amusement- it reminded me of watching certain people I could name play video games: I'm not sure what he was trying to do, but that clearly wasn't it. Luckily, no one else was around and he finally came to rest on the shoulder, and he was driving away by the time I crawled past.

On the way I met Jamie at IHOP- I was only 30 minutes late, because I left a solid 20 minutes earlier than I thought I needed to. They were really pushing this all-you-can-eat pancakes deal, and since it was the same price as the regular pancakes, I went for it. Halfway through the first stack I realized the genius of their plan: who can eat more than 5 IHOP pancakes? They are huge and rich. Of course, it's not really a scam if it doesn't cost any more, so what's their deal? Probably just trying to get me in the door.

In any case, when I finally made it to the airport, the snow was coming down. The flight boards read "cancelled cancelled cancelled delayed cancelled cancelled cancelled delayed etc." My original flight was cancelled, so they routed me through Raleigh, NC. Of course, my flight left the gate late, and then we had to wait for de-icing for over 2 hours. I was asleep for most of it, but the pilot kept announcing the new delays to wake me up. And then, there was that guy in the back of the plane. You know, the pilot would say "Well folks, we're 7th in line for de-icing, and it takes about 45 minutes per plane, so it will be a little while yet." Instantly, this guy is on his cell phone, talking extremely loudly (clearly for the whole plane's benefit) "Well jeez! Now he's saying we're 7th in line, and it's taking them 45 minutes per plane! I know! Well, I was supposed to be there at 5! Now, who knows? I don't know what's taking so long!" etc, etc. Of course, with every announcement this cycle repeated except the numbers were updated and I got a little closer to punching him in the face.

I probably don't need to tell you that by the time I made it to Raliegh my connecting flight to DC was looong gone. The only remaining flight that day to DC was scheduled to leave at 8:00, but get this: It was coming from Austin, where the weather was even worse than Dallas. So, I got to kill 4 hours in the Raleigh airport until the plane rolled in. Now, I was supposed to fly right back out to New Jersey, but after calling our travel people, I learned that there were no fights that I had a prayer of making that night. The little angel on my one shoulder said "Marc, you can get a hotel in DC tonight, then catch the early flight out tomorrow and still make half the meeting" (which was scheduled for 8:00 until 12:30). Then the devil on my other shoulder said "Are you serious? Screw it." and I did. I made all the calls and canceled the reservations (I had spare time) and I finally got to my car at Reagan at around 10:30, and I was home in bed by midnight.

And then this morning, it snowed in Maryland. There- snow here finally. Whippee!

Am I a Rookie?

I'm blogging from Ft. Worth, Texas today, where it is freakin' freezing. I went back to Michigan and Indiana for the holidays, and did not see a flake of snow. When I returned home to Maryland, it was 70 degrees. It was 65 when I took off in DC yesterday, and when I stepped off the plane at DFW it was...20. This is the coldest I've been since I don't know when, and I'm in Texas! Come to think of it, the last snow I saw was here in early December. It's just wacky.

My point is that I was reading the American Airlines magazine on the plane yesterday, and it was their annual "Road Warrior" issue, where they profile people who travel a lot. As a quick sidebar, I had no idea that you could read American Way online until I googled it just now. People barely want to read it on the plane- who would seek it out on the web? If you have internet access you should be able to find a better way to kill time.

So anyway, they profile the top 5 road warriors. The winner took 50 trips this year, for a total of 228 days on the road. Yeah, okay, she wins. But the next guy listed "20 to 30" for 115. First of all, if you're such a pro, how do you not know how many trips you've taken? At this point I'll mention that except for 2006, I've averaged 26 trips a year for at least 100 days on the road, and that's not counting personal travel, so I've got this dude beat. The others were 31-322, 22-100 (amateur), and fifth place was 12 trips for 65 days! Are you kidding me? I could do that on one program! Obviously, my next question is "how do I sign up?" because they win some pretty good prizes.

The thing I was planning to write about was the How to Spot a Rookie Traveler feature. Travelers submitted the common (and annoying) things that inexperienced travelers do in the airport, like not knowing what group is boarding or not having their ID ready. But, I took exception to a few. Like:

Those who travel with black luggage, the same color as 90 percent of all the other people’s on the flight. I have black bags, because luggage comes in two colors: black and gay. I can, however, tell which bags are mine from other clues.

Doesn’t spring for the GPS system in his rental car. Why would I do that? I travel so much that I already know where I'm going. Of course, that could be because I always go to the same three places.

The lack of a BlackBerry/PDA phone. Oh- I hate these people. The ones who are so important that they have to check their e-mail every 3 minutes. These are the same ones talk on their $500 smart phone until the stewardess tells them they have to stop and the first ones to start yakking when we land an hour later.

Still call them stewardesses. Bite me.

I did really agree with some, like "Wears high-heeled shoes." No fake- who does that! That still irritates me every time.

Tomorrow I'm off to New Jersey, them I should be home Friday. Hopefully it's a little warmer there.