Little Wisconsin

I'm coming to you tonight from the great city of Grand Rapids, Michigan. At work Thursday afternoon I was asked to cover a meeting here for a co-worker, and I didn't have anything else pressing going on, so off I went. The best part is that Grand Rapids is only about an hour from Lansing, so I was able to score some time with my family while I'm in the neighborhood. I couldn't tell you the last time I was here two weekends in a row- probably high school. I have more meetings tomorrow, but if I play my cards right I can probably hook up with the Burgess family for dinner again before I fly out Wednesday morning.

Here's the reason I write: The only way to get from D.C. to Grand Rapids is through Milwaukee. I have a fundamental problem with flying across Lake Michigan only to get on a puddle jumper and fly right back, but whatever. I don't make the schedules. In any case, as we were boarding the plane in D.C., I was couldn't help but overhear (eavesdrop) on the conversation a man was having with his daughter behind me. The daughter says "How long will it take to get there from Milwaukee?" The man answers, and I quote:

"Probably less than an hour. Wisconsin's not a very big state- I don't think you could drive much more than an hour and still be in Wisconsin."

-Guy Behind Me in Line

Yes. That is what he said. I've done a little bit of research here, and it's 40 miles just to get out of Wisconsin from Milwaukee. But, if there's any traffic whatsoever, that'll take well over an hour. Trust me- when Kate lived in Kenosha I got more than my share of Chicagoland traffic. In any case, their destination of Madison is a little over an hour away. For what it's worth, La Crosse is 3 hours away, Eau Claire is 3 hours 40 minutes, and to get from Milwaukee to Superior, WI is 6.5 hours! In case the point isn't fully made, to cross the whole state from Tobin to Superior it would take about 7 hours.

So how big an idiot was this guy? I stood there for a few minutes longer, and I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around and said "Excuse me, but where are you folks from?" I figured that they had to hail from Texas or Alaska, or some gigantic state. But no- they replied that they lived right here in Maryland. I said that Wisconsin was a pretty big state, and it took me over an hour to get from my home in Maryland to the airport- and that's with no traffic. Hell, it takes about an hour to get out of Maryland from my house!

For further information, Wisconsin is about 54,310 square miles, compared to Maryland, which is about 9,774. Honestly! Has this guy ever seen a map? It takes 2 and a half hours to drive across Connecticut (at only 4,844 square miles)! 1:06 to cross Rhode Island! I'd like to rant more, but what else is there to say? If I keep thinking about this I might pop a blood vessel.