Halloween Highlights

This was the fourth Halloween since I've relocated to Southern Maryland. For the first, Kate and I were our apartment and we were ready- we bought a bunch of candy, and had a grand total of like 5 trick-or-treaters. The first year in the house, I think we bought 2 big bags of candy to be safe, and we ran out so fast we had to break into our own personal candy (Fireballs, Lifesavers, etc) to keep up, and ended up closing up shop early when that ran out. The next year we were in Chicago, so we didn't pass out candy.

The point is, this year, I was ready. I had 4 bags of candy, 3 of them being wombo sized (90+ pieces) and the other one being the Kit Kats that I was semi-secretly hoping to eat myself. How many trick-or-treaters did we get? Maybe 50. The first bag was gone, and they made a dent in bag #2, but I have a ton left over. But moreover, did I miss the memo? When did kids stop dressing up, or even saying "Trick or Treat?" Oh yeah- Kate was over to help me out, mostly because I had some things TiVo'ed that she wanted to see, and it took me a while to get up and down the stairs (knee).

I think trick-or-treating was officially 6:00-8:00 this year. I don't know for sure, because no one ever pays attention to the "official" times. I had just gotten home from work and taken the picture of myself (in costume) that I couldn't upload when the doorbell rang. I opened it, and standing on my porch was a kid, at least 14 (if not older) in jeans and a t-shirt. He stood there and looked at me blankly for a couple seconds, and I said "Hello?" He said "Uh, trick or treat?" And I said "Oh...Already?" I looked at my watch, and it was 5:20. I went in the house and tore open bag #1 and grabbed a few pieces of candy. When I returned to the door I noticed that he didn't have a candy bag or a pillow case or anything, so he took off his backpack and opened it a little. I tossed his candy in, and he was off. How did he even know I was home? My lights weren't on, because it wasn't even remotely dark outside! I'm pretty sure he was on his way home from school, and just thought "What the heck? Let's get some candy."

Now, we had plenty of nice polite kids come by, and some really cute little kids, but I would say at least a third of them had no costume. And almost no one said "trick or treat." The doorbell would ring, we'd open it up to a bunch of silent children with open bags. We'd say "What are the magic words?" and they'd think for a second before responding. The kid who took the cake was a little guy in a Power Ranger outfit. He walked up silently and without hesitation stuck his hand in the candy bowl Kate was holding. She pulled it back and said "What do you say?" He muttered ".........tickortreat." Kate said "There you go!" and dropped a big ol' handful of candy in his bag, because it was winding down and we had so much left. He looked in his bag, looked Kate in the eye, grabbed another fistful out of the bowl and walked away without a word. We were stunned, and from the driveway his mom yells "Hey! What did I tell you about that?" so apparently he's a repeat offender. She added "Sorry, I think he's getting tired."

Everyone at work today had similar stories, so I guess it was a bit of an off-Halloween. But at least it was a beautiful night- we ended up just sitting out on the front porch by the end of it. My awesome neighbor Bill was out in his full (Captain Morgan) pirate outfit passing out candy and yelling things like "Arrr! Ye be plunderin' for candy tonight!" I guess you had to hear it. It was pretty funny.

The moral of the story is that when I have kids someday, they will dress up, they will say "trick or treat," and when they get candy they will say "thank you." Really, it's the least they can do for free candy. Plus, I think I'm going to do what my parents did and cap it at age 13. None of these groups of ten 16 year olds in street clothes asking for candy. Which reminds me- if you don't already have a firm grasp of life in Southern Maryland, we actually had a trick-or-treater who was smoking. That's right, smoking while going door to door asking for free candy. There's at least one problem with that, probably many more.