Moral Authority Offender #4754
I don't know if I've ever been more proud of what this blog has accomplished. Do you remember a few months ago when I mentioned the Net Moral Authority? Well, you are now perusing offender #4754!That's right, this blog can now be mentioned alongside such esteemed company as MonkeyPedia, BarackObama.com, eatpoo, Discovery Kids, and Daily Kitten. You can find it nestled comfortably between other dregs of the internet like the Atlanta Journal and Constitution and the CIA. One away from the Build-A-Bear Workshop. Honestly, do they even check these sites before they "block" them?
So all in all I was "cited" for:
- Pornographic material
- Hateful material
- Blasphemy
- Offensive political material
- Bestiality and/or interracial relationships
But my favorite part is that within their database, preserved for all time, the snapshot of this offensive website is a picture of Carly and Daniel. I can't wait for the time when they walk into a Denny's or something and the hostess sees them, pauses, then narrows her eyes and says "We don't serve your kind here. Get your blasphemous keesters over to IHOP!"
In other news, Purdue was flat-out embarrassed on national television by Ohio State. And not in a "Ohio State's so good we looked bad" kind of way, Purdue just stunk. But, if we're going to get beat by anyone, I want it to be OSU because they're the Big 10's best hope this season (I did love the total moot-point touchdown at the end, though!). At least the Colts pulled out an injury ridden victory, because the Notre Dame victory makes this weekend only 1 for 3. Oh well, can't win them all!
posted by Marc @ 10/08/2007 07:51:00 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Marc, congrats at reaching your goal of making onto their offender list. Daniel and I are proud to be a part of your achievement by having banned stamped across our faces. We actually looked at their website, and instantly became enraged, however wanted you to know that those are the 5 criteria they judge all websites on, and their explanations of these criteria are copied word for word below. Who knew interracial relationships were a subgroup of bestiality!?!
Thou shalt not post pornographic material.
There is a common misconception that pornography is limited purely to images or textual descriptions of an explicit sexual nature. This is not the case. Anything that can evoke impure thoughts in the mind of the beholder is pornographic.
Thou shalt not post hateful material.
Any material that promotes or inspires hatred or violence towards any other person or group of people is strictly forbidden.
Thou shalt not post blasphemous material.
Any material that would lead one astray from the righteous path of the one true God must not be permitted on the Internet. These days children are gaining access to the Internet at younger and younger ages—a time when they are most vulnerable and susceptible to blasphemous viewpoints and suggestions.
Thou shalt not post materials of an offensive political nature.
Thou shalt not post materials concerning bestiality, including interracial relationships.
God did not intend for different species or races to intermingle sexually. Any content that contradicts this natural law, directly or indirectly, is strictly forbidden.
So you got banned for posting a photo of a dark face next to a light face. Perhaps build-a-bear posted a photo of a moose face next to a bear face.
Possible ways in which you could have been an offender in other groups.
1) Daniel's face is so sexy that fully clothed he counts as porn by their definition.
2) You do hate the fighting Irish, which could be a hate crime.
3) You did post material taking a stance opposite theirs in a previous blog, thus making a very racey political stance.
4) I believe you may have posted a few times on Sunday, God's holy day of rest, you blasphemous bastard.
I personally feel very offended when Build-A-Bear puts a dark skinned bear next to a light skinned bear... let alone a moose next to a bear. It's just unnatural! :-)
Marc - I think you need to put one of those nifty badges on your blog. It's only fair... so the parents know what kind of filth you are blogging about!
-Ramya, Member of Interracial Relationship
Exactly. I agree with Ramya. You need a "welcome page" that warns potential viewers of your blog about what kind of material is going to warp their fragile little minds. One link that says "Enter," the other link that says, "No Thanks," and leads you to some "safe" website, like the Teletubies homepage.
It's people like this that make every other normal person that tries to be a follower of Jesus look bad.
While I'm thinking of it, I need to see if I can get my church's website banned.
언녕하세요 from Korea!
that's FANTASTIC! Seriously...I checked my blog and I'm not an moral offender. I cuss WAY more than you do. I even said Fuck Tony Romo...come on now!
What does a girl have to do? Especially since this site linked beastiality and interracial dating in one line. I've got to go start a site about sites that are offensive to me. Eh screw it, I'll just blog about it later.
CONGRATS!
Never prouder, Marc!
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