Howard James Burgess, 1922-2007

My grandfather, Howard J. Burgess Sr., passed away on Sunday, October 14. It's never easy, and I'll miss Grandpa, but I can comfortably say that it was his time. We've been on watch for a while, but you're never quite ready, you know?

I'm not very good at this sort of thing, so I'm going to borrow a few items from the words of remembrance that my Dad and aunt Karen said at his service. Karen noted that having Grandkids seemed to soften him up a little- back in the day she got in a fender-bender, and called to tell him that she was in an accident and would be running late. Grandpa sighed and asked "Well, how bad's the car?" Karen thought "Well, first of all I'm fine thank you, and it's my car, I paid for it, and I'll pay for the repairs, so why are you concerned with it?" Years later when my brother was in an accident his first question was "Is Jamie okay?" My Dad noted that Grandpa was well read and had a constant thirst for knowledge, and he always pushed his kids in that direction. Even though he wasn't able to go to college, there was never a question that his kids would. Dad said that thinking of Grandpa reminded him of Newton's quote: "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants."

Grandpa had quite a career (encompasing more jobs than I could ever remember) that included being the Lear-Sigler salesman of the year, as well as president of the Norgas company. He also served in the Navy during World War II. Since the man could type 80 words per minute, his time was mostly spent in offices- he would say proudly (and perhaps a little sarcastically) that he fought the war with his typewriter. As such, his funeral included a formal flag presentation and 3-volley salute. Personally, I lost it during the playing of taps.

I'll always remember Grandpa as just that- my Grandpa. Roasting chicken out on the grill for sunday dinners, orchestrating family vacations all over America, coming to watch me march with the band in high school and college, etc. He was always supportive, treasured spending time with us, and we knew we were loved.

I'll switch gears a little, and present the odds and ends from an unexpected week back home with the family:

I was thoroughly unprepared when I got there, clothing wise. This resulted in an emergency trip to Jos A. Bank (where they know Dad by name) and the first suit of my adult life. Carly and Daniel (knowing that I have no style) came with us to pick everything out. As the tailor guy was doing the fitting, Dad explained that I've made it this far in life without real dress clothes because I'm an engineer. He indicated Daniel and added "Yes, the same with my son-in-law- both mechanical engineers." The tailor said "Really? That's quite a coincedence." I said "Well actually, we were friends and roomates in college. That's how they met" (we all know I like to take credit). The guy says "Really!?" in a very surprised tone, and then added "So young..." before changing topics to something else about the suit. I never got to ask him, but what in the world did "so young" mean?

Speaking of which, when I came out dressed in the suit Carly said "Wow, you look like an adult!" I actually did get several compliments on it, and several people said I looked too skinny- which strengthens my belief that I either have body dysmorphia or I'm just used to being skinny at this point.

It was nice to see so many friends and family all at once, and it's sad to know you only really ever get to do that at a funeral. Several of Karen's teacher friends were able to come, and they invariably opened with "I've heard so much about you!" and I always believe it. Between Dad and Jeanie there were a bunch of medical types there. I spent most of the viewing standing with Carly & Daniel, and Howard & Jasmine. People would come over and say "Howard, what are you doing these days?" He'd answer "I'm working in the lab at Sparrow." They'd say "Oh, what kind of work?" "I work on micro-blah blah medical word blah blah" and they'd nod and agree. When they moved on to Carly, she'd say "I'm doing my residency in Connecticut." "Oh! Where are you? Which hospital? How do you feel about the recent overprescribing of blah blah priapism blah blah" and they'd go on like that for a while. When it was my turn I'd say "I'm an engineer, and I work for the Navy in Maryland, about an hour south of Washington, D.C." They'd say "Oh.... So Carly, have you chosen your specialty yet?" I'm told that my error was not specifying that I work on fighter aircraft. Of course, a couple people wanted to know my take on that total garbage Time article about the V-22, so that gave me something to talk about.

Everything was wrapped up by Thursday, but since it was an off Friday I saw no reason to rush back. That let me stay until Jeanie's retirement luncheon, at which I got to see my Step-sister's kids (who I usually only see at Christmas- which is probably why when I walked in Austin said "Hey, it's that guy.") At one point Emily asked "How old are you?" I said "Twenty-eight." She replied "You don't act like it." I've decided to take this as a compliment. It's not like her being 16 doesn't make me feel old enough already, since I remember her as an infant. Actually, my older niece Lauren had a baby earlier this year, meaning someone that I distinctly remember being born has given birth. Ugh. I am old.

All in all, it was a fairly exhuasting week, but it was nice to see my family (even given the circumstances). This weekend I'm off to Purdue for homecoming weekend, and I am once again marching with the alumni band. Last time I got a lesson in the casual nature of the event, so this year I'm not going to worry about whether or not my shoes are shined to perfection (old habits die hard, you know). Plus, and this will be a first, I will be marching with facial hair (gasp!)! That may not sound like much to the layperson, but it was strictly verboden my whole life. Pictures to come.